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“tom nook is a capitalist” “tom nook is a property owner” “tom nook’s a loan shark”...but you have the largest house on your island? and the only thing your neighbor owns is the common butterfly you gave them 3 weeks ago? sis......the call is coming from inside the house.

Get your fucking ass up and make tamales. It seems like no one wants to make tamales anymore youtu.be/WtQ-6GjOrvE?si…

House of Gucci is a perfect movie about killing your husband, being Italian, and having fun

The most disturbing part of squid game isn’t the 100s of murders it’s the fugly shade of red the main character dyes his hair in the last episode

microdosing shitting by farting

Twitter trending topic page be like:

what if my good vibes are just my carbon monoxide leak?

If butts can be gross and sexy at the same time why can’t I

wrote a sketch about a restaurant I would open called “98% Napkins.”you can buy food but it’s mostly about getting napkins.

We love you AL! Show some love to the hottest member of the #Twilight cast by watching here: youtu.be/X5ugxbTGVg8

got hired to make an ad for a Kate Bush night at a local dive bar

WE’RE GOING LIVE RIGHT NOW! 👑😭😂 TWITCH.TV/PAGEANTCOMEDY TWITCH.TV/PACKTHEATER

ALL NEW SKETCHES TONIGHT LIVE ON TWITCH.TV/PAGEANTCOMEDY AND TWITCH.TV/PACKTHEATER 👑💕 AT 9PM PST

mom I’m not “ignoring your text” I’m queering virtual communication

How does pregaming work again? Is it cool to put on Fleabag or not the vibe?

nothing more heterosexual than wearing a “slay yas mama hunty WERK” t-shirt from the target pride collection

showing up to a pride pool party as a 25+

Tomorrow night! 💥 E-Bay legend Michael DeWitt welcomes guests @carrotflovver & @catshitgirl from @pageantcomedy, Charlotte Brown, and musical guest @jessicamayfield! 🏆💰It’s the E-Bay seminar that’s also a comedy/music talk show! Watch LIVE @ Twitch.tv/SALearningAnnex