Relatable AF

@attemptnomore New Fetish found: Friend groupie

my current friendgroup is 12 girls and 1 guy who just tries to hit on all of us while we ignore and degrade him

@AgingAnarchist When they add “now” right after

おそろしい英語表現とは、“ファック“とか、“シット“ではなく、“We need to talk“ です。

@shubhvanii So stay at home, but watch TV all day

Neverrrrrrrrrr stay idle at home when you're unemployed.

@ick_real Medusa

I'm looking for a ridiculously old-fashioned girl's name for our new born . Think great-grandma name. Very old and rare. Any suggestions asap pls?

@Breaking911 Could it be their president just opened the Strait of Hives??

Tens of thousands of bees have suddenly swarmed across parts of Israel, prompting authorities to warn residents and shop owners to keep doors and windows closed.

@beyoumf Anywhere…once I close my eyes

Pacing around your room is a high form of therapy I recommend

@callme_siya_ I see a saw wtf

If you saw a dog, you're right-brained. If you saw a cat, you're left-brained.

@sillycidal_ What was the thought process behind this tweet?

how old were you when you realised neil armstrong is gnorts mr alien backwards??

@stats_feed Blow job?

What is a job that you think is 100% safe from AI for the next 50 years, and why?

@fascinatingonX What causes this?

🚨BREAKING: Science confirms that brain cells are influenced by our self-talk.

If you delete AppStore, what app do you use to get it back?

@deaflibertarian Gruk it

Ok, I'll ask. Why are we going around the moon?

@Dearme2_ I’m sorry but it was definitely about food!

@mrwtffacts Well,

In Scotland, 22 year-old Kira Cousins faked her entire 9-month pregnancy. She wore a prosthetic bump, faked ultrasound scans & even threw a gender reveal party with the dad. On 10/10/25 she “gave birth” to a silicone doll named Bonnie-Leigh Joyce Gardner (5lbs 4oz). She later claimed the “baby” had a heart condition and informed her family, including her distraught boyfriend, that the baby had died. Her lie was exposed when her mum found the doll in her room. Kira confessed: “I wasn’t pregnant. There was no baby. I faked scans, messages, a birth story & acted like the doll was real. I f***d up & didn’t know how to stop”

@lporiginalg See, bro

@TRIGGERHAPPYV1 Bro in the toecam like

The California man who broke into a woman’s home and sucked her toes while she slept has been sentenced to 6 years and 8 months in prison

@QueenAnticommie Shampoo when told they’ll be used somewhere else than the head

I have never seen a back so hairy in my life!

@mogulmem06 Technologia

I was impressed by this smart solution🤯🤯

@lynchinist Might as well turn the story into another book

imagine you’re a writer and one of your books get an film adaptation but they wouldn’t allow you to write the screenplay or be on the production team and the movie ends up being so bad you fire your agent of 30 years and never release a book again for 13 years after