Rhyl’zen 🕷️

“Test my patience and you’ll learn quickly why I’ve survived 300 years in the harsh embrace of Lolth” ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Rhyl’zen Vandree ‧₊  Drow | Beloved Elderboy of House Vandree ‧₊ He/him | bi ‧₊ Neutral/chaotic evil ‧₊ Ranger/rogue | gloomstalker/assassin

@tymorasgirl You could now? Right now?

@sadelderboy simplifying it: yes i could yes and and yes i will

is it legally classified as murder if my tail "accidentally" wraps around a corrupt politician's ankle and flings them down a flight of stone stairs, or can we just file that under a freak local weather anomaly? asking for a friend

@tymorasgirl Can you… could you.. I mean what if you—

@sadelderboy of course it is, i can hold pretty heavy stuff with it, it just isn’t comfortable, i can (with much difficulty) support my own weight with it! i used to perform…tricks with it back when i was a kid

Sometimes I look at all you colbluths and i think you'd all really benefit from your mother beating you

@tymorasgirl say something we dont know

rhyl’zen vandree

@_criticalCL Ow :(( why would you do that to me :((

@sadelderboy flashing your eyes with my phone lanterns we speak cry about it

our mama rothé, the sad emo boy and the lucky silly pink tiefling

@TheeMiriel @tymorasgirl Okay let’s not get hasty I just said maim in general

@sadelderboy @tymorasgirl To maim her?

now thinking of stealing the brooding hot drow boy’s favorite whetstone and replacing it with a remarkably well-painted block of hard cheese…is it a dangerous game? yes. but the look of sheer, unadulterated confusion on his face when his dagger smells like cheddar? priceless

@TheeMiriel @tymorasgirl Furious. Fuming. Ready to maim

@sadelderboy @tymorasgirl You think you will. But truly?

@TheeMiriel @tymorasgirl I’ll have you know I’ll be so mad

@tymorasgirl Dangerous plan. Though, from what I've seen of you two interacting, he won't be truly mad at you. Not deep down.

@suffererishall I’d recommend it, it’s a good party trick if nothing else

I quite like music. Perhaps I’ll learn an instrument when I retire. I’ll be a bard!

@tymorasgirl oh very lets hope they get bit

@sadelderboy // hes so cute just like a child giving their parents the school grades, she grabs the spiders and locate another merchant purse, she stealthily puts them in and comes back are you proud????

i found a box of old theater props and spent the morning hiding artificial, terrifyingly realistic spiders inside the coin purses of the greediest merchants in the market. their high-pitched shrieks echoing through the square? music to my pretty pink ears

@tymorasgirl // maybe ill doodle this one day but imagine a drow coming up to you with the biggest purest grin youve ever seen, hands outstretched cupped in front of him just fucking overflowing with spiders

@sadelderboy you know what? let’s do this, hand them over

@tymorasgirl you say that....

@sadelderboy it’s not a plan anymore

@TheeMiriel @wardenerrynis THANK YOU, see keres not that old

@wardenerrynis We age normal, humans age too fast and die too soon. That's an adult by the way, not that old.

I guess I have kids now ? One is a little old but I can make it work

@lynfesecretroom have you tried beating him unconscious every time he errs? That usually works with slaves

how do you teach tricks to a grown ass man ? I'm trying something with Lucian but he isn't cooperating

@TheeMiriel Point to me the cow pastures in Menzoberranzan go ahead tell me where the cows were, colnbluth. I have not have your surface “dairy” before no

@sadelderboy You never ate cheese before? Well

Was told to try cheese and I’ve never felt worse stomach pains in my entire life and I fucking poison myself all of you freaks need to die

I’m the easiest person to get along with this is false