Stephen Falk

Dear Ted, Take 10% of the $2.8B breakup fee—roughly $280 million—and go hire the best investigative journalists in the world. Build a next-gen 60 Minutes. A better CNN. Think of the revenge possibilities.

It's kind of gross and upsetting to see what all my friend's Top 5 songs of the year were. Ick. Why are you replaying THAT over and over? Gross. I want to go back.

Obama’s Iran nuclear deal was working until Trump pulled out of it. His own staff warned him not to because the alternative was war. Well, now we’re at war with Iran because Trump is weak, stupid and hated Obama more than he cared about preventing Iran from getting a nuke.

Scamander In Chief

Good man. (Fuck this platform tho.)

David Lynch knew when it was time to go.

Quiz time. A put-together 35-year-old white lady is angrily screaming "fa--ot" at someone on the street in Los Feliz. What hat is she wearing? A) Criterion B) Lakers C) Barry Season 2 Camera Department D) Kennedy 2024?

This @stephenfalk.bsky.social rolls off the tongue.

I feel bad for the Dodgers that if they win tonight their fans won’t be able to beat anyone up in their parking lot.

If anyone is still on this failed desperate attempt to get the cool kids to like him, You're The Worst is doing a 10 year reunion at Vulture Fest in November. Come! vulturefestival.com/event/the-best…

BREAKING: our friends at @ClimateReport_ have been undercover in Project 2025 - the radical plan for a Trump 2nd term. What they’ve found out is remarkable. Learn all about the secretive “second phase” of Project 2025 here 👇

@ShttyMy this is good content

It’s your isolated Anderson Family Reenactment for Blown Away!

Fixed it.

NOYCE!

@Eden_Eats That should have been Part 2, obviously. Part 3 is the wildcard. (Also, why is there a part 3?)

@stephenfalk Missed opportunity to call it “Now You Don’t”

Now You 3 Me? Now You See 3? N3w Y33 S33 M3?

That headline is workin' overtime!

Cat Earth Theory

Here's your reminder Sloane Peterson paid no mind to those two goofballs at the Cubs game because she was keeping score. 🎡⚾️🧢

Weird, when you say the word enough times, "Guilty" starts to sounds FUCKING AMAZING!