Kevin Stevenson

grok says this video is 145-160-plus IQ youtube.com/watch?v=jhdAR_…

protagonist of the movie "the shift" remembered a friend telling me to look it up way back in the day, the benefactor, and the shift were also mentioned also the other benefactor, by name

it just occurred to me I subliminally picked up on the word benefactor from the movie the shift, but most often the benefactor is a perceived or imagined watcher, who is a real person, just flesh and blood, and a decent honest man who's never really encouraged people to immoralty

a movie meant just for me apparently, from the clips I've seen and description youtube.com/watch?v=Tl7rtM…

I've definitely gotten to the point I feel secure enough in my salvation to begin to listen to the softer hearted, almost hippie dippy even, stuff, a little bit want to keep a masculine hard edge, but letting go of guilt that helped pry rage from me... healthily is hard -gradual

@DCaolite well if I can get them on youtube then I'll check the one that stands out for sure, and if I need further I'll check the others out my anger's more or less in control nowadays so that's not too big an issue, part of letting go of guilt is a longer process

@tardigans Those are all lectures that are on YouTube. I agree, Manly Hall is a very special person

christ the thought I'm going to have to, just dispositionally relive my worst experiences for the entirety of life and naturally can't really get out of them, even though I'll be way more useful, is quite a steep price I see, so that's the frodo angle

@DCaolite one of those books titles and associated information with it, calms the mind so immensely it's insane there's a special resonance to it, the spook factor of synchronicity but in an especially re-assuring providential sense

@DCaolite it's a part of the mess that iran chants death to america and has it in its basically a constitution to annihilate the jews and take over the world I mentioned a while back iran shouldn't get nukes but should be a counterweight to greater israel projects

@tardigans This is an interesting point. But arent zionist christians the same? They are helping israel because they think it will bring Jesus back faster. They are no better in that respect, not even a little bit. But more to my argument, it hasnt happened becauae the reasonable people….

jordan peterson misses a key gradient, Mutually Assured Destruction MAD isn't evil, it's an acknowledgement of it, MAID is an example of evil, murder as service work will make you free isn't evil, as self reliance on the human level is good,concentration camps forced labour=evil

@DCaolite no it just leaves the perpetrator with one eye who half blinded a victim

@tardigans And so an eye for an eye leaves us all blinded

@DCaolite except that hasn't happened yet because nuclear armageddon is that scary and the threat is real to all bad actors in caveat to what I said about trump on israel's behalf, if iran were getting nukes, the uhh, apocalyptic end times death cult group...I'd be okay with him need proof

@DCaolite yeah but MAD explicitly came about as concept to underwrite that there should be noone absolutely bodying an entire superpower one sidedly, look at iran now, look at russia then, not that I think russia good or iran should get nukes, but I don't like what going on israel's behalf

@tardigans True, but narcissism is insidious and its evil nature is elusive, which is part of what makes it evil. If i am only expressing myself and that is taken as a threat because of a fragile ego, i am not threatening destruction but am being gaslit with the threat of destruction…

@DCaolite self defense is the cornerstone of civilization and even the natural order of animals, and even plants I think you're thinking of the "self defend your way to victory" in your own mind only mirror darkly version even criminals are allowed to think of their pain/death punish NEway

@tardigans Ive thought about this alot. Narcissism is a hidden evil that you wont understand as such untl youve lived through it. Then you either break or develop an understanding of its evils because identifying it as evil is the only way to survive, but its also an accurate depiction

@DCaolite it's not narcissistic to tell your enemies if they kill you you'll do the same to them

@tardigans I see mutualky assured destruction is civilizational narcissism. A narcissist will control dynamics of a relationship by keeping tensions high and threatening to blow up a situation whenever things dont go their way. I see narcissism as evil, and as demonic

beginning to get the hang of this, a very strong confidence after getting my deepest fears and wounds salted earlier today youtube.com/watch?v=5I-r3Z…

as many times as the bone isn't set right by me, god will break it and I'll reset it getting better at this

keep pumping iron on whatever mental muscles help cope with the repeating pattern of dread until it barely makes a dent, my body is a machine that turns pain and fear into answers to the dark ages

the effeminate/feminine path is to "let it slide" and always hold a grudge, the masculine is to punish appropriately and then it's done

such a prison system should allow and would inevitably encourage overtime work, there is a set goal, finite if participated in the restorative process, infinite if stubbornly lazy the skills in the workshop to pay off debt to society will serve when out to keep one a gainful job