@ysmithnd on spill i guess

@flyosity Omg.I’ve never been so disgusted with myself. I’m not sure I like the feature where it shows how much filth it picked up after you finish. I didn’t expect to feel judged by my vacuum. Like if it could talk, it would say “you LIVE like this?!?!?”

I am warning everyone to NOT buy one of these new Dyson cordless vacuums with the hard surface laser sight not because it’s a bad product but because it is so extremely good and addicting to find all the dirt that it makes you want to vacuum every goddamn day

RIP Paul Reubens Everything he appeared in was better for having him in it. But my favorite scene, by far, was in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure where he throws himself off a train because he was so annoyed with the homeless man who wouldn’t stop singing “Jimmy Cracked Corn”

THE BEYONCÉ SHOW IN MINNEAPOLIS WAS VERY GOOD. THERE WERE HORSES AND ROBOTS AND OUTFITS AND DANCING. I AM NOT SURE WHAT THAT LADY PUTS IN HER MUSIC BUT I AM BUZZING. NOW I AM GOING TO GO FIND MY EMERGENCY CRACKERS. STILL SATISFIED WITH LIFE CHOICES.

MINNEAPOLIS I AM HERE FOR YOUR BEYONCÉ SHOW. SO FAR I AM PROUD OF MY LIFE CHOICES. WILL REPORT BACK IF THIS CHANGES.

Happy Birthday to Malia Obama and Malia Obama only

@_BeautyByLMarie Don’t live on the first floor (noise, security, etc) If it’s a high-rise try to live between floors 4-10 If it’s a mid-rise try to live on the top floor

Whomever at McKinsey they paid to tell them this lied, lied, lied I wish they would just lead with their true wishes—they want to land their white cis het content somewhere so they can attract white cis het families and they can’t do that while people are meatgazing on Euphoria

No one’s paying for the shittiest version of 2FA. But he knows this. Authenticators add more friction than the avg user will tolerate. FIDO? More like NOGO amirite? For a company that just experienced a data breach, this is flat out irresponsible. fwiw @ ysmithnd everywhere

We are pleased to announce the expansion of the @craignewmark Veterans Scholarship Fund, increasing access to a McCourt School education for active-duty servicemen and women, veterans and military-connected students. Read more: bit.ly/3HZGtMh

The balloon rn

Not watching the video I don’t need to see it to know that he deserved to smile like this again

@andyburns Ooh, I hadn’t seen that! Thanks for sharing!

How come no one ever asks Black parents what they want their kids to learn? So a Black kid in Michigan will have their education stunted because some white meth heads in Florida can’t handle facts or reality? Anyway, stream #1619Project tonight on Hulu

@redteamwrangler Good luck!

@redteamwrangler My thought is to get a loudspeaker that plays construction noise and see if anyone comes rushing out of their house with their camera phone

One thing I’ve learned about owning a house: you will very quickly find out who the Karens are Apparently, one of my neighbors has called several city offices to file complaints for a number of infractions that I’ve never committed.

For reference, I live in one of the whitest neighborhoods in one of America’s Blackest cities. I know what this is & what I was getting into when I chose this house. I have a sick amount of joy knowing that I am stressing somebody the fuck out just by living blessed & unbothered

The city is required to investigate every complaint (& they can’t tell me who actually filed it so we can have a civil conversation) which is disruptive but I suppose that’s the point. What I do know is that she cursed out the last investigator who showed up to my door in tears.

@InfoSecSherpa I’ll have to sample them before I can give a definitive opinion

A jury has convicted Tory Lanez of all three charges for the 2020 shooting of Megan Thee Stallion. A crazy and downright scary scene in the courtroom as his father and stepmother screamed about wicked injustice.