Crypto Alien 👽 🌌

How I started an Onlyfans in my grandma’s basement: In the summer of 2017, I was living in a makeshift lean-to just inside the Argentinian Jungle made out of water-logged soft pretzels and old Newport menthol boxes One day while I was in town buying whatever cheap food and booze I could get my hands on and I was approached by two very shady individuals They saw how homeless I looked and said they were involved in an illicit drug trade and could change my life if I came and worked for them for a few years I agreed and we walked to their car I was clenching my ass cheeks so hard I was getting a rash praying I wouldn't get kidnapped or robbed I gobbled down my last adderall and just followed along We got to their blacked out Escalade, got in and headed off right away to their secluded compound in the South American mountains After a brief talk over tequila and hookers, my love for cocaine and Skrillex haircut photos instantly won over their hearts and our relationship was born This was the birth of the Fish Cabal Starting small was key It actually started tiny asf, kinda like my dick after a three-day bender. I began by forging alliances with low-level suppliers in the Caribbean, using encrypted burner apps to coordinate shipments of Bolivian booger sugar into the harbor First major sale was a few week later Easiest money of my life hands down 875k USD in untraceable cash, laundered through shell companies posing as import-export firms selling exotic scented butt plugs to online retailers. Things quickly began to grow faster than I ever could have expected and I became a feared drug lord known as "El Pescado" With the syndicate's early earnings, I needed a way to launder the rest of the money and I needed to do it fast So, as most people would do, I hired 7 high profile escorts to start an Onlyfans with an explicit focus on high budget erotic aquatic content This is where I began my profound and deeply personal relationship with @RAINBOWFISH We flew to the US and started filming content as a team in my grandma’s basement and managed to wash 27.8M dollars' worth of nose beers in about 6 weeks with celebrity endorsements and viral posts on tik-tok and the dark web But this wasn’t fast enough Money began piling up quicker than I knew what to do with Then I found $FISH and everything changed I began funneling all the funds I had as fast as possible from my 2004 nokia on sketchy gas station wifi in the trenches of Guadalajara And you wouldn't believe what happened next tbh A few days later I got an anonymous encrypted video call with a business proposal saying they had been tracking my internet activity Come to find out it was Pablo Escobar He wanted $FISH for the anonymity it offered in laundering Cartel Funds and wanted to make a proposal The deal? An over-the-counter transfer A massive single batch transfer wallet-to-wallet, no exchanges involved. I agreed and the next morning I sent him roughly 10% of the supply for an undisclosed cash amount that I put on a ledger and shipped off with my trained-carrier pigeon I still kept a large portion of my position to never sell as a token of the memory None of this ever happened Few 🫡

@DeItaone that's exactly what we've been saying for a while now now someone just needs to tell him that there's literally a coin named $USELESS sitting above $120 million market cap