My name is Snark, James Snark.

I have a solution for gerrymandering (from both parties), term limits for Congress, and counting illegal aliens in Congressional District reapportionment:

There are only two types of vessels: undetectable submarines and their targets.

@RepAOC Fixed it for you: "There is no place for political violence in our country. I am relieved that our (D)efenders of (D)emocracy and that un-Constitutional, illegal, immoral, pure evil self-serving sub-human Nazi billionaire scum are safe." </snark>

There is no place for political violence in our country. I am relieved that the President and the attendees at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner last night are safe.

The very media who were writing fake stories about Kash Patel having a drinking problem, were stealing bottles of wine after the attempted assassination event.

This is sad

All to prove to a machine that you are human.

I just saw a lady at the gym on the exercise bike wearing a helmet. So I put on a life jacket and got on the rowing machine next to her.

A Secret Service agent took a bullet last night - and he isn’t get paid because Democrats refuse to fund the Department of Homeland Security

The left is sending an assassin every few months while the GOP whines about the filibuster One side is fighting a war, the other is worried about breaking Robert’ Rules of Order

If they’re willing to die to assassinate, imagine what they will do if they gain political power

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐏’𝐒 𝐂𝐈𝐑𝐂𝐋𝐄 You can tell everything about a man by how he instinctively responds when it hits the fan. No rehearsal. No time to think. Just reflex. In this photo from the moment shots rang out at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner: 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲. 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫. No hesitation. No panic. No running for the exits. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. These are the men the media calls dangerous. These are the men the left calls fascists. And when the bullets started flying — from yet another radicalized leftist — they didn’t flinch. 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐲. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬. 𝘐𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 @𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬

@GuntherEagleman Everyone knows the Press Dinner shooter was secretly a violent far-right MAGA supporter gunning to silence (D)efenders of (D)emocracy critical of the un-Constitutional, illegal, immoral, sub-human Nazi scum's self-serving, fattening policies. Right??? Awesome!! </snark>

🚨 RASKIN just got asked if Democrats should tone down their heated rhetoric after the assassination attempt and this clown actually says “What rhetoric do you have in mind?” Bro, you spent YEARS calling Trump Hitler, a fascist, and the end of democracy.

Starting to think that the party funding the KKK and trying to kill presidents probably aren’t the good guys.

@LangmanVince Everyone knows the Press Dinner shooter was secretly a violent far-right MAGA supporter gunning to silence (D)efenders of (D)emocracy critical of the un-Constitutional, illegal, immoral, sub-human Nazi scum's self-serving, fattening policies. Right??? Awesome!! </snark>

Why would a teacher named Cole Allen travel across the country to kill President Trump? The same reason a mother named Renee Good tried to run over an ICE agent doing his job! They were both indoctrinated by lies and pure hate coming from Democratic leaders and legacy media!

@BamaSaltyMarine There is a reason space aliens passing by Earth make sure their windows are up and doors locked.

Whenever I see a warning label on peanut butter saying it may contain peanuts. I understand why aliens don't visit us anymore.

On Wednesday, you called for “maximum warfare” on President Trump and his administration. Your disgusting rhetoric is inciting violence.

@Real_Ames It's controversial because Trump is doing something Best Ever President Biden's handlers didn't think was necessary to advance their agenda.

🚨 So let me get this straight… The Reflection Pool at the Lincoln Memorial looks like THIS… 🤢 …and the moment someone wants to clean it up, suddenly it’s a problem? We’re really arguing over fixing dirty water now? At what point did basic maintenance become political? It’s a national landmark—not a science experiment. Clean it. Fix it. Take pride in it. Why is that controversial? 🤔

Minnesota Sunday Toon - Abra-Fraud-Abra - 04/26/26 alphanews.org/alpha-news-car…

@harper_dyl66271 @TonyKayjo55 Great! I'll open a bar that serves pulled pork BBQ.

@JimEatock @TonyKayjo55 Dubai would be perfect for you.. Its in the UAE by the way Tax-free living for your boomer retirement, dogs allowed, and since Isabel Oakeshott already lives there, they must be totally fine with pigs too.

I am writing to the Muslims of the UK. My family and I would like to settle in a Muslim country, the exact one yet to be determined. My neighbors and friends, who are very close to me, would like to join me, as would their families, their family's friends, and even their friends' friends... Therefore, there will be many of us in your country. Since we are all Christian, you will need to plan for the construction of churches and the closure of certain streets for our processions (rest assured, in our country it's only once a year, not five times a day!). You will also need to stock pork, bacon, and good beans in all your supermarkets to accommodate us, as we will be a minority and will need your understanding. This is OUR way of life, and you must accommodate us. We are also bringing all of our dogs with us so we will need dog parks built and tolerance as we take them for walks down your sidewalks. We would like all your religious holidays to be abolished, as they could offend the Christian community that we are. We also request permission to participate in school outings wearing our crucifixes around our necks, and to eat our ham sandwiches in the school cafeteria and at work. You will also need to provide a designated space in all your buildings where we can pray in our language, and you will need to provide a translator as we do not speak your language. Should this request be denied, could you please provide us with the addresses of the police stations so that we can file a discrimination complaint? Thank you in advance for your understanding. Oh! I almost forgot, if my children set fire to your flag if the English team wins a game, could you please be as lenient as you are here? I promise, I'll give them a good scolding... Finally, I hope your government will give us loads of benefits and free rent while we adapt to your country, without even having to work, of course, whether it takes months, years, or generations... Appreciate it!

@harper_dyl66271 @TonyKayjo55 Where is Doobai? I'm going to retire there since they are totally accommodating to non-believers and will grant my every demand and do so at their government expense. My two poodles and my pet pig Arnould will love it there and it will be so peaceful without 5 calls to prayer.

Name the Islamic countries that would welcome the OP’s scenario? Well, Doobai seems pretty welcoming to the worst that the UK has to offer. Tax-dodging millionaires, far right grifters, and their families all living tax-free while lecturing the rest of us about patriotism and fairness. Funny how that works. Stay confused 😵‍💫 Richard and Izzy needs this

Benedict Jeffries rooting for the enemy. garyvarvel.substack.com