Carol Bittner

@Gormogons Like this morning.

CZ Yes. And when times were good.

@CraigCaplan 80% of AMERICANS want this! Who do these people represent? "Cuz it sure as heck ain't us.

48-50: Senate voted against Louisiana GOP Senator John Kennedy's effort to include elements of the SAVE America Act, the GOP voter ID and citizenship requirements legislation, as part of the filibuster-proof reconciliation bill. Republican Senators Collins, McConnell, Murkowski, and Tillis voted No with all Democrats.

@CBSNews "Hundreds"? You're too funny.

During the Biden administration, CBS News saw hundreds of migrants cross into the U.S. illegally near the Texas border city of Eagle Pass. Today, CBS News' Camilo Montoya-Galvez returned to the same location and found a very different situation – not a single migrant.

@scottlincicome Grow your own. They taste so much better.

"Trump ended free trade for Mexican tomatoes. Prices are up 23 percent in the last year." reason.com/2026/04/17/tru…

@TheBabylonBee Hands off my tabs! You should hear me swear when Windows restarts for an update#$#%&$@🤬🤬

Man Shows Wife How To Close The 8,537 Browser Tabs She Has Open buff.ly/H6yRjgu

@C_3C_3 Just like jury duty!

The American people would be better off if we randomly picked 535 random American citizens to run Congress each year. That’s how corrupt, owned, perverted and worthless Congress is. Facts.

@MatthewFoldi @TMZ One way to effectively enact term limits. How long will it take for TMZ to find something?

So @TMZ launches a DC bureau and now everyone is resigning from Congress

@ScottJenningsKY @benfergusonshow @gtconway3d Women are Masters watchers at work, too. Boss was gone fishing.

The Friday Pundit of the Week is @benfergusonshow. Picked the WINNER and LOSER of the week. Congrats, @gtconway3d - you earned it!

A tradition like no other. Pimento cheese for #themasters watching this weekend. Loaf of bread going in the oven in the morning. Go, Rory! #twittersupperclub

@kevincorke Should we start hoarding toliet paper again?

And he apparently recorded himself… 😑

@JoanneMason11 So happy to hear!🙏🏻

Friends: Just got my phone back, I lost it in all the commotion. Mr. Mason had minor surgery this morning, and will fully recover. You folks are just the best, your prayers and kindness moved both me and my beloved to tears. From my exhausted heart, thank you. God bless you.

@GabsClark5 Just wait for pulling a muscle from wiping your butt😂

@clbittner It’s not fair Carol. I think I perforated my butt cheek.

So here’s something fun. I just pulled a muscle I’ve never pulled before. That’ll learn me to stop making completely normal movements like reaching into the car or brushing my teeth. 😵‍💫

GOP Rep. Maria Salazar on her mass amnesty for illegal aliens proposal: “Right now, what we need to do is buy peace for these people, allow them to stay and continue working because they are needed.”

@BasedMikeLee If a married woman changes her name, doesn't she have EVERYTHING necessary under the SAVE Act?

Meryl Streep is an actress She’s a really good one I don’t know who gave her these lines to recite in condemning the SAVE America Act, but they are as fictional any movie in which she has appear To be clear, by “fictional” I men “completely false”

@wakeupusa Has she tried to get a Real ID so she can get on an airplane?

What's your response to her?

@HarmeetKDhillon Cute dress!

BREAKING!!! She had a great time and she got this dress on sale! Sources say she made new friends!

@WallStreetApes And their reimbursement amounts to dentists are pitiful. I always have to pay the difference between negotiated amounts and what they get from Delta Dental. Otherwise, my dentist would drop me.

WOW 🚨 Delta Dental is considered a nonprofit but the CEO skyrocketed her pay from $4.5 million per year all the way to $48 million over 4 years That’s $1 million dollars per month pay for one employee as a nonprofit “Delta Dental is considered a non-profit, and as such you can be their taxes online. So I got curious in their 2014 filing, the IRS requests for the organization's top accomplishments. Delta Dental reported that over 95% of claims electronic, online and paper were processed without any manual intervention. That means when your care is denied, there is less than 1 in 10 chance a human reviewed it — That same year, Delta dished out up to a 30% pay cut on the care that doctors deliver, and for a decade, they did not raise what they pay for your dental care by a single penny. Meanwhile, their CEO's salary skyrocketed. She went from 4.5 to $15 million a year. From 2014 to 2018, she made off with almost $48 million before leaving her position. That's a million dollars a month. Must be nice. And she's not even a clinician. She's a CPA. You don't have to be an accountant to do the math. Dr. Pay cuts stagnant reimbursements. They were never about saving patients money on premiums.”

@annbauerwriter Hermione Granger. From the crazy hair to the "know-it-all" nerdiness.

What fictional character do you identify with? Who from literature is most like you? Mine: Meg Murry, A Wrinkle in Time

@MustangMan_TX If they won't vote for what 85% of ALL Americans want, who do they represent? 'Cuz it's surely not the American people.

BLOOD BOILING BETRAYAL! #BreakingNews Rep Sens. Lisa Murkowski (AK) and Thom Tillis (NC) are reportedly planning to VOTE 'NO' on proceeding with the SAVE Act! Two no votes puts the Republicans at 51, however there are reportedly two other potential no votes - which means the GOP will have to flip one so JD Vance can be the tiebreaker. 83% of Americans Support Voter ID, including 95% of Republicans and 76% of Democrats #ChristinaAguayoNews