Daniel Schaefer ری ٹویٹ کیا

A film crew arrived on Tuesday with a drone, a budget, and a 4,000-word researcher's brief about the environmental damage caused by British beef farming.
What they found was Gerald.
Gerald was in the south corner.
9:30am - The drone went up. Gerald watched the drone for approximately three seconds, concluded it wasn't interesting, and went back to grazing. Thirty seconds of footage: bull, ignoring drone, eating grass. Not the footage.
11:00am - The researcher asked the farmer about Gerald's methane output. The farmer explained the biogenic cycle. The researcher said that wasn't in her brief. The farmer said it was in the peer-reviewed literature. The brief did not contain the peer-reviewed literature.
12:30pm - The cameraman asked if Gerald could do something. The farmer: "Like what?" The cameraman: "Something more active." Gerald lay down in the south corner. Gerald had been awake since 5am and had grazed eleven acres. Gerald found the cameraman's schedule irrelevant.
1:00pm - The producer walked the south corner with an ecologist who was there on a separate Natural England survey. The ecologist pointed out the seven wildflower species. The Bombus humilis. The dung beetle activity. The lapwing pair.
The producer: "Is this because of the cow?"
Ecologist: "Yes."
Producer: "Can we use that?"
Ecologist: "You're making a film about Gerald being a problem."
Producer: "...Can we use it anyway?"
4:00pm - They left.
The documentary has a two-star rating on streaming.
The south corner has a UK priority bee species.
Gerald is in the south corner.
Gerald has not seen the documentary.
Gerald does not have a streaming subscription.

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