LL Cool Tweet

A group of men is called a joke.

@carrie_walsh_ I lived long enough to see both a floppy disc and a floppy hook. Wow!

cannot believe the uselessness of these hooks in the toilets at st. thomas's hospital

Me: do you want to take a quilting class? I heard they have tea parties too Friend: and to think you’re the reason we got kicked out of multiple bars Me: if they put tequila in the tea I’d get us kicked out of the quilting class too Friend: there she is! Missed you!

@egyptian_neenan 😭😭

@LLcoooltweet Anytime I see a grown up give a caught baseball to a little kid… 😭

The internet is a weird place, because why am I crying over the death of a 96-year-old grandmother I’ve never met who had a dog named chewy? Like I am beside myself.

What is chewy going to do? Why didn’t anybody tell me she was sick? When is the funeral? I need bereavement leave.

@hottestgirl6969 Ugh I’m so sorry

everything used to be 20 dollars and now that i finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

@ch1cken_t3nder When I say this I mean what I spiritually was like lol

I do believe my favorite Americanism is saying “and I was like” instead of “I said”

Amazon Prime should be ashamed of themselves. $25 to rent The Devil Wears Prada 2?! It didn’t even cost that in the theater. Suck my balls!

The little shit still ate the peach cup and garlic bread though 😂

I made spaghetti and the neighbor boy (8) invited himself to dinner. After I made him a plate, he looks at it and says, “you put meat in the sauce? It’s ruined!” I said, “what about a peach cup and some garlic bread?” And he said, “maybe in jail!”

@whoinvitedjon It was all on clothes, art supplies, Halloween and Christmas decorations…a giant jar of whole peaches. When I win the lottery I will return 😂😂😂

@LLcoooltweet Whoa - that's a lot of rotisserie chickens!

I go to Costco 2-3 times a week and typically walk out with under 5 items (usually 2 or less). I don't understand how people lose all self control and say they can't walk out without spending $350

@elblevins 🥵

@LLcoooltweet True, and lives where it's cool. DC is gonna suck

Anyone who enjoys this hates puppies

@fionaredica @dunderheadg00d Add a zero to that I’m still in 😂 keep my ass cold! Lmao

one of my roommates thought it would be funny to set the thermostat to 67 in the middle of june in north carolina and now our utility bill is $145 a person

@kellycucca It sucks to even say this but the true key is finding a job you really like to do. Not every day will be great but you won’t just be surviving, either. It takes time to find that job, so don’t give up!

am turning 27 in two weeks & I just want to know: does it ever get easier working a 9-5 job or corporate? I’ve been doing this since 18 so almost a decade & it is genuinely so horrible & I’m completely miserable every second of the day. the concept of doing it 30-35 more years….

@dtripp4801 @_wej01 It’s truly something to witness! It happens in one summer!

@LLcoooltweet @_wej01 One of my best friends did as well. Marveled at the change from child to adolescent over 9 months.

How many times a week should 11 and 9 year old boys be showering? Asking as a step mom. My husband and the boys mom have them shower maybe twice a week if that. My husband gets upset with me when I say the kids need to be more on top of their hygiene. I feel crazy saying they should shower at least every other day. I’m a hot yoga and pilates teacher, teaching at least 4 different days a week so I am constantly showering - probably more than the average person...

@dtripp4801 @_wej01 I used to teach this age group and this is so common! I’m bracing myself for it when my child gets to this age 😂👀

@_wej01 Not sure but my 6th grade son was so resistant to showering. I knew it was a phase. It was.