PANIC PROTOCOL™

I would fully support this trade.

@Mr_Husky1 @oldguy_steve You overpaid.

I’m usually a strong tipper. I respect the work and understand how tough restaurant jobs can be—but tipping is still tied to service. Tonight started off rough. I walked in, waited at a “please wait to be seated” sign, and got no acknowledgment. Eventually, I had to ask if they were even seating people. I got seated, ordered, food came out, and yes—the server checked in. But when it came time to leave, everything fell apart. I had cash ready—a $20 and a $10—and planned to ask for $5 back, leaving about a $7 tip on an $18 tab. I know I’m a one-top, so I try to tip a little extra to make up for it. The check gets dropped… and then nothing. No follow-up, no effort to close it out. I’m just sitting there, clearly ready to pay and leave. At a certain point, I’m not going to wait indefinitely just to hand someone a bigger tip. Total was $18.36. I left $20 and walked out. That’s not about being cheap—it’s about not being stuck waiting just to pay. If it takes longer to close out than it did to eat, something’s off. Take care of your customers, and they’ll take care of you.

@ericmmatheny "Bubble wand" 🤭

Creepy Lindsay Graham, unmarried 70-year-old man walking around Disney by himself with a little girls pink bubble wand.

@capeandcowell @AwakenedOutlaw Needs more bacon... and a second pistol.

こんにちは日本の皆さん。これがアメリカの一般的な朝食です。

Canada just criminalized reading the Bible. Now quoting Scripture on marriage, sin, or God’s design for sexuality can be prosecuted as “wilful promotion of hatred.” This is how the West falls.

It's ridiculous that NASA is launching a mission around the Moon this week that will send humans farther into space than ever before and it's getting almost no attention. A landmark moment in the history of our species. History books will care about this moment even if you don't.

This is why you can’t just say you want “Good Vs Evil heroic stories” anymore. We don’t agree on what’s good and evil. It actually does matter what the politics of a writer is because of this.

@JamesGunn @ThomasConnorsJr Look, a Guardians of the Galaxy movie with Supergirl in it! 😳

Supergirl will call you back tomorrow. #Supergirl lands in theaters June 26.

You guys talk shit about each other all the time, more of it needs to be made public. Bring shame back to Hollywood. Starfleet Academy should be embarrassing for all involved from the Paramount management down to the catering. A live stream of a Spock action figure was watched by more live concurrent viewers than SA's premiere on YouTube. No one who worked on this show should be allowed to write and produce a grocery list.

@tdawgsmitty "TDAWG said it again."

Modern Warfare 4 will be the greatest call of duty of all time.

A FULL list of what was accomplished by the “No Kings” protesters… 🚨

If you haven’t heard, and even if you have, Jimmy Kimmel said this about Markwayne Mullin, former Senator from Oklahoma, and our newest Secretary of Homeland Security: “We have a plumber now protecting us from terrorism.” Apparently, there has been some backlash. Plumbers were offended, obviously, as were parents of plumbers, spouses of plumbers, children of plumbers, and millions of people who have had a plumber show up when they needed one. Comedians were also offended, (the funny ones, anyway,) along with a surprising number of terrorists - especially those with access to hot and cold running water. However, in spite of the ensuing kerfuffle, @jimmykimmel doubled down. “I’m not upset that the head of Homeland Security was a plumber,” he said, “I’m upset that he isn’t still a plumber." He further elucidated by adding, "I wouldn't put a plumber in charge of Homeland Security for the same reason I wouldn't call a five-star general to pull a rat out of my toilet, OK? We all have our areas of expertise.” Being offended is always a choice, and I don’t choose to be offended by a joke, even one that comes at the expense of the skilled tradespeople my foundation tries to elevate. But I am a tad butt hurt by the suggestion that skilled workers should never evolve into something new, and that competence is somehow limited to one vocation. Obviously, expertise and skill are important. If I need a new kidney, I’d prefer a doctor do the surgery, not a late-night talk show host. But if the doctor in question used to host a talk show, why would I hold that against him? Ten years ago, during one of the presidential debates, @MarcoRubio answered a workforce-related question by arguing that America needed to get shop class back into high schools. He concluded by saying, “What our country needs are more welders and fewer philosophers.” A lot of people on this page commented that Rubio and I were singing from the same hymnal, but in fact, we weren’t. At least not entirely. Because I don’t think the current shortage of welders has anything to do with an overabundance of philosophers. In fact, I think it’s a mistake to promote one vocation at the expense of the other. What we really need in this country, are more welders who can talk intelligently about Aristotle, and more philosophers who can run an even bead. More Generals, in other words, who can fix their own toilets, and more plumbers who can hold a powerful government job. This is what Mullin did. He was a private citizen who mastered an essential skill and then turned that skill into a multi-million-dollar company that employed a lot of people and served a lot of customers. That gave him the freedom to do other things with his life, including a career in public service which got him into Congress, where he’s spent the last eleven years doing whatever Congressmen do. Now, he has a very consequential position in the Cabinet of the current administration. Is that not the embodiment of the American Dream? I get that Jimmy Kimmel might have a problem with Mullin’s politics, but what possible objection could he have about the trajectory of his career, or his desire to do more than one thing with his life? The only sensible thing to do in the wake of a moment this tone deaf, is remind America that the skills gap is wide, and getting wider. The shortage of skilled tradespeople is now headline news and closing it is nothing less than a matter of national security. This year, my foundation has set aside $10 million dollars to help train the next generation of plumbers, and lots of other essential workers. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of AI-proof, six figure jobs that don't require a four-year degree, waiting to be filled. The money is currently available to anyone who wants to master a useful skill at mikeroweworks.org. Apply today. As for those of you genuinely offended by Kimmel's comments, consider expressing your disappointment with a modest donation to mikeroweWORKS. Our work ethic scholarship is making a real difference, and your money will be well spent, I promise. The donate button is big and red and hard to miss, at mikeroweworks.org I’d love to chat but I’ve gotta pull a rat out of my toilet…

@ScottJenningsKY @RantyAmyCurtis

Incidentally, you’d also need one to eat a regular bunny.

Keir Starmer's dystopian Britain: Hamas flag - allowed ✅ ISIS flag - allowed ✅ British flag - banned ❌

@dailyglimps24 @wachinunow I would eat more.

Would you stop?

@GeeksGamersCom Needs more Supergirl and less Guardians of the Galaxy most likely.

Supergirl Test Screenings: 8 Cuts, Mixed Reactions & More Superman Added "Reactions so far have been mixed — not disastrous, but not glowing either." -Word of Reel

GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN: Democrats are preparing emergency litigation against Trump asking Democrat judges to prevent him from ‘illegally’ paying TSA agents.

🚨 JUST IN: Republicans are DEMANDING a full recount in Florida after a Republican-held seat FLIPPED to Democrats by just 800 votes! A Democrat elections office volunteer got CAUGHT stealing election materials. More Democrat cheating exposed.

✍️ "The Greens’ real agenda is revealed by the organisations with which they are happy to march alongside. When a political party tells you who it is, for God’s sake believe it," writes @MrTCHarris. 🔗: telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/03/2…

All of us conspiracy theorists deserve reparations