Parent.Parody

Finally posted my first parody. Based on Taylor Swift's "Gold Rush" I present to you "Clean Up" httpsttps://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeAYDSuJ/

“Do you have a flavor?” La Croix: “I have the concept of a flavor.”

@Ziggier_ thank you aimee

@USANetwork we NEED a White Collar episode about this case!! Imagine Neil’s face when having to recreate Taco Bell art @MattBomer @TimDeKay @TiffaniThiessen sfgate.com/food/article/t…

@JayWamsted I have to teach middle schoolers the cooking term “cream”

Taught volume of a sphere to middle school today and folks outside of education have no idea how dangerous this is Me, to myself, all day long: Just. Don’t. Say. Balls.

Me: oh good I can be early to my appointment. Kids: we’re going to make you so late.

My 6yo is currently watching a video of himself singing “daddy’s very grumpy all the time” and I’d probably find it hilarious if I wasn’t grumpy all the time

No worse thing for a jig to be than up, imo.

Me: What should we watch? Husband: We could watch that show with that one person in it. Me: ???

I finally did all my kids laundry and loading the laundry machine was like an archaeological dig as I went through layers of soccer jerseys & ballet tights & cold weather clothes. It’s like I got to relive the last two months through my children’s dirty laundry.

I didn’t get my sons birthday party planned on time so I had to send him to school with pseudo invites that said “text me so I can get you a real invite!” So embarrassing.

@MaltOMealCereal There was nothing wrong with the cereal! We thought it was hilarious that marshmallow cereal was what finally got the tooth out 😂

My son accidentally swallowed his tooth when it fell out while eating @MaltOMealCereal Marshmallow Mateys and he’s very upset because he wanted to keep the tooth and nothing prepared me for this.

You should clarify that Little Red Riding Hood was wearing other clothes IN ADDITION TO the hood when telling the story I know this now

@wittyotter_ Lol at Bobby pins. I’ll include a few safety pins in each order

@ParentParody Safety pins? Bobby pins?!

Just curious, is there a store somewhere that sells the bottom half of all the shirts?

@CatDocMD Do it!!

@wittyotter_ Perfect! You will have to figure out how to attach it to the crop too though 🤣

@ParentParody I will be your first customer!

“Mom I want you to come sit at the other table with me.” My son whines to me. I respond gently, “I know bud, but I’m already sitting here and I want to spend more time with my parents.” It took about 3 seconds for the irony to set in.

@kevinthedad My husband makes me play this too!! “Hey is this milk still good?” I’m so sick of smelling everything 😭

My 6yo sometimes asks me to play “smell this” which is a game where he asks me to identify a mysterious smell. It’s a game I’m always very scared to play.

They're called hummingbirds because they don't know the words to any of the bird songs.