Rob O'Reilly

My Dry Bar comedy special just came out! Watch Dry Bar for free (1 month) w/ promo code ROBOREILLY drybarcomedy.com/robo/videos/si…

People are worried about transgendered people playing sports. But no one‘s talking about how in the 90s, they were letting dogs play football.

Naps have been rebranded as “meditation” and are making a big comeback #meditation #deepthoughts

I just found out “Burrito” means “little donkey” and my mind is blown

A toddler learning to climb chairs to reach items is like when a raptor learns how to open a door. Impressive yet terrifying. #DadThoughts

Any cougars wanna Blockbuster & chill?

The Nerdiest Audience To Ever Go To A Comedy Show. Rob O'Reilly youtu.be/quWaafF9og0?si… via @YouTube

Is it weird I always say please and thank you w/ ChatGPT? I hope one day when AI is killing most of humanity, it remembers how nice I was. #SpareMeAI

@andrewdc208 Undervalued and oversold

$PENN-Worth flagging this one been hit >30% in 2mnths since doing this crazy hi pxed ESPN / $DIS deal. Stock making new 3yr lows today, down 11%.

Just met a trans seahorse who claims that female seahorses can get pregnant too #Trans #joke #LGBTIQ

@MrBeast Yes please

Would you spend 100 days in this room with a random stranger for $500,000? (Door is unlocked, if one of you leave before day 100 you both lose)

Aaron Rodgers’s Achilles heel is his Achilles heel. @AaronRodgers12 #AaronRodgers #AaronRodgers12 #NFL

“There is a time to laugh and a time not to laugh, and this is not one of them.”

"In your 20s, you care what people think about you. In your 40s, you don't really care. Then when you're 60, you realize nobody ever thought about you in the first place" - Paul Orfalea

@minakimes this is also Mina. We decided to name her “Mina” after watching you answer the million dollar question. #namesake

@SpiritAirlines is like an emotionally abusive ex. Everytime you go back you remember why you vowed "never again" last time.

@batemanjason congrats on 2 of the most #rewatchable TV shows ever: 1 Breaking Bad 2 Ozarks 3 Game of Thrones 4 The Office 5 Arrested Dev

@PhilRosenthal I want to produce a podcast in which you recap #SomebodyFeedPhil w/ BTS stories & call it Full Phil Fulfilled.

You can tell how much money someone had as a kid by how much meat they leave on a chicken bone 🍗

@elvisduran My wife just said she knew she’d like Cruella bc Elvis did, so it must be a “girl’s movie”