Mx. Bethany Daniels

Walking around my house like "who the fuck closed last night?!"

@JDVance Sorry but you were the only baby ever worth choosing crack over. Every time your mom neglected you was justified. Sorry. Amy Adams sucked in that movie too, sorry. Nothing you touch ever goes right. You should try some of Elon’s medicine sometime. Sorry.

I went to my local corner store parking lot to get some tacos. Got five: asada carnitas & pollo. Started walking the 6 blocks back and ran across another taco truck 2 blocks on that sells pastor. Kind of wanted it but decided next time. #TacoTrucksOnEveryCorner

All Black halftime show, y’all mad Black rapper wins five Grammys, y’all mad Black woman wins Country Album of the Year, y’all mad Black quarterback gets Super Bowl MVP, y’all mad Black tennis player crip walks, y’all mad Black actor plays uncle Sam, y’all mad Black artist sings Black national anthem at the Super Bowl, y’all mad Black Santa, y’all mad Black Little Mermaid, y’all mad Black Queen Charlotte, y’all mad Black Cleopatra, y’all mad Black President, y’all mad Black Supreme Court justice, y’all mad Black Panther movie, y’all mad Black Nick Fury, y’all mad Black Vice President, y’all mad Black History Month, y’all mad Black JESUS, y’all mad Then y’all have the caucacity to be like ‘color don’t matter’

Says the smallest man who ever lived.

I, too, average 2x more yards per game with my partner in attendance. Being left to my own devices is low-key disastrous. 🤷

Don’t feel bad about not wanting to go out. You’re an inside cat and it’s not your fault.

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

Still true 😖

Wow. Disney+ changed the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark...

🤔

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand…”

What a classic “It sucks to be a Kings fan.” moment.

I hate that this is apparently controversial, but children shouldn’t be getting married, children shouldn’t be working night shifts in the factories, gun violence shouldn’t be the leading cause of death for children in this country.

April Fool’s Day on social media is like watching a shitty open mic that lasts all day unfold in real time.

life can be pretty cool because you can eat a donut, but there’s also the horrors.

only way i understand this banking thing is if Pedro Pascal plays a customer taking his young deposit to safety

Today was a great day at work!

asked my kid what she wanted to do over the long weekend and she said "go to the big library and then eat a croissant." a flawless itinerary.

@BaileySarian I drove by two Starbucks today to get to a Peet's coffee.. That's some good coffee right there!