Decelerate Your Life

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Decelerate Your Life

Decelerate Your Life

@deceleratedlife

شامل ہوئے Haziran 2018
41 فالونگ2.8K فالوورز
پن کیا گیا ٹویٹ
Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
I'm so tired of her telling me Haitians aren't eating cats when she's Haitian and goes home and eats pussy every night
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
Just had to make sure it wasn't a Mandella effect.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
Someone said "dudes in the military get married in their dress blues because they can't afford to rent a tux" and I never felt more personally attacked.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
"Teachers don't get paid enough!" It is enough to apparently give the students they fuck an allowance.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
St. Patrick's Day is just Kwanzaa for White people.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
The worst part of the USS Abraham Lincoln's deployment is that some boat 8 (civilian 3) won't be getting an all expense paid Dubai port visit courtesy of a married dude in her department.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
The only thing that can defeat evil now is big naturals and a white Monster.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
I dont know who @LinseyFaganTX is but saying the US hockey team give "rapist vibes" is absolutely unhinged and uncalled for at the very least.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
British describing anything: I wonder if Muhammad will make us take this down.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
Women will cry about a baby monkey who was rejected by it's mother and then turn around and get an abortion.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
Nobody's a disappointment to their parents on stolen land.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
If you start "Top Gun" at 11:51:14 tonight, Maverick will go inverted at midnight. Start your 2026 off right.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
People give Kevin's dad shit for yelling at him for spend $967 on room service. That's over $2,200 in today's money. I sure as hell would be beating that ass, too.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
President Trump announced a $1,776 bonus for each servicemember by Christmas. In an completely unrelated note, strip clubs near bases will also see a bonus around Christmas time.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
I'm running for president on the platform of restoring the American institution of halogen headlights. We are banning LED's. Once I accomplish that we address the alphabet people problem.
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
Me: fuck government overreach and regulation. Also me: why is nobody doing anything about these too-damn-bright LED headlights?
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
People in the military complaining about their food stamps running out. Like what? Nigga just go to the chow hall and eat lol
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Decelerate Your Life
Decelerate Your Life@deceleratedlife·
If Trump said he aborted the East Wing liberal women would be celebrating.
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