kcallmo

@marcmaron @MattBDavis @WTFpod Well, that was uncomfortable.

@johnaugust My 10 year old daughter is a huge fan! Only thing more exciting than book three is a new puppy...named Arlo! ❤️

@johnaugust It’s finally here! I got us started reading out loud and she said, “I call next chapter!” 😍

Often times I am not sure if I’ve called someone, or just thought about calling them...and have to check my call log to confirm.

After going through the effort of grinding the coffee beans, putting in a fresh filter and adding water to the tank, I brewed the dang pot before adding the grounds. 🙄

@johnaugust My little loves Arlo Finch!

Harvey Weinstein turned himself in carrying a copy of, “Something Wonderful: Rodgers and Hammerstein's Broadway Revolution.” The inmate musical is going to totally change what it means to be “on the count.”

An ever-growing body of research consistently reaches the same conclusion: The only variable that can explain the high rate of mass shootings in America is its astronomical number of guns nyti.ms/2LgiN71

The YMCA just sent me an email with the subject line: 2 weeks until summer camp. What?!? I'm still adjusting back from spring break.

Who wore it better?

Massachusetts filed bills to make ‘meal shaming’ in public schools illegal. My kids may be disappointed that the legislation doesn’t cover packed lunches with hard boiled eggs or tuna.

Benedryl before a 3 hour meeting. They finally figured out a way to shut me up. 😵

There is no greater advertisement for plastic surgery then getting surprised by my phone’s rear camera.

@NWHugNKiss @educatorsresist Same! My love for reading began with some pig. 🐖

Oh, you mean a journey of strength, endurance, and perseverance? Yes, I can see that. twitter.com/bestydevos/sta…

We’ve fallen behind on poop patrol. Child labor in action. #moneywellspent

Not sure what made my dog start barking at 1am but pretty sure I now have 5 hours to lay awake in bed thinking about it.

Home by 6:07. Prepared dinner by 6:13. To go plates and out the door by 6:15. Drop off child #1 at gymnastics by 6:30. Drop child #2 at band practice by 6:45. Back to gymnastics for pick up by 7:15. Accepting my reward at 7:30....

When you arrive to a meeting two days early and only the intern is there to witness your faux pas, do you slip him some cash to keep quiet? Asking for a friend.