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Bob F
395 posts
Bob F
@SolidRockGPB
Former BFanarmyof1 - back from a hack. Survivor Dad Owner Anarchist Metalhead Divorced since ‘22. SINGLE it’s 420 somewhere 🚫 content or crypto wanted
DFW Tham gia Mart 2026
293 Đang theo dõi44 Người theo dõi
Went to my son's career day yesterday
The teacher said each parent gets 3 minutes
I asked if there was a hard stop or if this was more of a "suggested timeline"
She said 3 minutes
The dad before me was a firefighter. The kids loved it. He brought a helmet. Let them try it on. Very theatrical.
My son whispered "don't worry, you're going to do great."
I wasn't worried. I brought a pitch deck. Objects aligned perfectly horizontally and vertically.
14 slides. One appendix. Two scenario analyses. A waterfall chart I stayed up until 11pm simplifying so a 5 year old could follow the value creation framework.
Slide one: "What is a CFO."
Slide two: "What is EBITDA."
Slide three: "Why EBITDA matters."
Slide four: "Why adjusted EBITDA matters more."
I lost the room at slide one.
One kid asked if I help people. I said I help companies become more efficient. He asked if that means I fire people. I said no, we right-size.
He started crying.
The teacher stepped in. Said maybe we could do a Q&A instead. Great pivot. Very collaborative.
A girl in the front row asked what I make. I said Excel spreadsheets and PowerPoint decks. She said "my mom makes cupcakes." Different verticals.
My son stood up and said "my dad makes companies worth more money so the people who own them can sell them for a lot of money."
Dead silence.
The teacher said "that's... one way to describe it."
My son said "it's the only way to describe it."
I have never been more proud of anything in my entire life.
I told him that in the car. He said "thanks, can we get Chick-fil-A."
My son asked if the expense was tax deductible.
One could argue I'm teaching my son more than the teacher.
We got Chick-fil-A.
Plz fix. Thx.
Sent from my iPhone
English
I’m 21. Give me oddly specific life tips. No general ”surround yourself with positive people” tips. I want the most random, specific advice possible.
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Just found out my brother in law is an authorized user on my sisters card…
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@BadCovid19 Uhhhhhh noooooo….
Treating a 🐈 to mouth time until the owner of that 🐈 says that’s enough is one of the most sublime pleasures a man has in life
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Men used to worship women and make us into beautiful paintings and statues…
Now they are crying that eating kitty is the devil😭
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@AnnaKKraken I’d like some additional objectifying and less emotional regulating, please.
Plz fix
Thanks
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@Jason__ramsey I think real women are becoming unicorns as well. I am fully aware it works both ways.
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[To clarify: the following scenario is Sarcasm 101. This is what y'all sound like. No offense. But, I DO make 6 figures.]
Listen, I make 6 figures.
And, I am not going to play sugar momma to some deadbeat dude out there just digging for my gold.
Men these days. Hobosexuals looking for a place to live. Wanting me to fund their date. And, then playing chef, maid, and seductress?
Please.
LMAO 🤣
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@AnnaKKraken 2026 is too weird.
I just keep rolling like I always do… keep to myself, notice someone that for some reason my idiot brain says might be different —
Reach out, get shot down in flames, keep to myself, rinse & repeat.
If I could stop wanting 💩 or having hope…
English
How April dating is starting off:
Many men slide into my DMs like they’re launching a full campaign… only to immediately clarify they’re “not really dating right now.” 😂
Oh good. Strong start.
You messaged me for literal weeks.
You opened the conversation.
You kept it going.
You asked me out.
And now we’re… what exactly?
Co-founding a startup?
Joining a book club?
Forming a casual task force?
“My favorite is: ‘Let’s hang.’”
Hang how? Hang why? Hang in what capacity?
Are we networking? Are we bonding? Are we splitting appetizers as colleagues?
And THEN—my personal favorite plot twist—
“We’ll just split it 50/50.”
Perfect. Love that.
So just to recap:
You pursued me…
to invite me…
to a non-date…
that I help fund…
with a man who doesn’t want to date.
Bold. Innovative. Truly disruptive to the dating industry. 👏
I think I’ll sit this one out and enjoy the radical concept of staying home—for free. 😌
English
@MrsEthanBrooks I lived in Texas for 3 years (CA Native) before I learned ‘bless your heart’ means ‘nice one, dumbass!”.
English
I’ve always loved the South.
For those who are unaware, “Bless your heart” doesn’t mean what you think it means.
it’s definitely on brand.
Occasionally my intention is literal.
Most of the time it is not.
Keeps you guessing.
Plz pray. Thx.
Sent from my iPad
Brent Crumpton@BrentCrumpton
@MrsEthanBrooks I’m thinking Mrs Brooks has Southern roots. This is a very “bless your heart” thing to do.
English
My wife asked how career day went
I said the material was strong but the audience wasn't ready
She said "they're 5"
I said "exactly. We're already behind."
The school has requested another parent-teacher conference.
No agenda attached. Very unprofessional.
Ethan Brooks@alt_w_v_g
Went to my son's career day yesterday The teacher said each parent gets 3 minutes I asked if there was a hard stop or if this was more of a "suggested timeline" She said 3 minutes The dad before me was a firefighter. The kids loved it. He brought a helmet. Let them try it on. Very theatrical. My son whispered "don't worry, you're going to do great." I wasn't worried. I brought a pitch deck. Objects aligned perfectly horizontally and vertically. 14 slides. One appendix. Two scenario analyses. A waterfall chart I stayed up until 11pm simplifying so a 5 year old could follow the value creation framework. Slide one: "What is a CFO." Slide two: "What is EBITDA." Slide three: "Why EBITDA matters." Slide four: "Why adjusted EBITDA matters more." I lost the room at slide one. One kid asked if I help people. I said I help companies become more efficient. He asked if that means I fire people. I said no, we right-size. He started crying. The teacher stepped in. Said maybe we could do a Q&A instead. Great pivot. Very collaborative. A girl in the front row asked what I make. I said Excel spreadsheets and PowerPoint decks. She said "my mom makes cupcakes." Different verticals. My son stood up and said "my dad makes companies worth more money so the people who own them can sell them for a lot of money." Dead silence. The teacher said "that's... one way to describe it." My son said "it's the only way to describe it." I have never been more proud of anything in my entire life. I told him that in the car. He said "thanks, can we get Chick-fil-A." My son asked if the expense was tax deductible. One could argue I'm teaching my son more than the teacher. We got Chick-fil-A. Plz fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone
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@_TheBookishOne 🤣🤣🤣
I haven’t ever seen you post anything obnoxious enough to consider that drastic step! lol
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Hot take: If you block me, I assume you’re a pussy 💁🏻♀️
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