Byl Holte@SirBylHolte
Because Hollywood is creatively bankrupt, Hulu just dropped "Malcolm in the Middle: Life's Still Unfair."
PREMISE: Malcolm is both happy and successful having spent years avoiding his dysfunctional family - until he's forced to reunite with Hal and Lois for their 40th wedding anniversary.
Everyone is back except Dewey who's been recast because Erik Per Sullivan "retired."
BUT BECAUSE IT'S 2026 DISNEY:
Starts with a "previously-on" montage of anti-male violence that you’re supposed to laugh at.
Malcolm's has a daughter whose inner life includes “depressed apathy, paralyzed embarrassment, and impotent fury.”
He has a MIXED-RACE girlfriend.
His childhood best friend Stevie (the black kid in the wheelchair with one lung) is now GAY, wears 2 earrings, is married to a white man, and is raising an adopted baby son.
Hal and Lois’s surprise pregnancy from the original finale is now their grown-up non-binary daughter who uses they/them pronouns.
There's a scene of Jane shaving Hal's back while he stands frontally-naked before Dewey on a zoom call.
There’s a flashback where Malcolm speaks Spanish to prove to his family that he knows how to say "quesadilla" (and to acknowledge that America has been taken over by ILLEGALS).
Reese (looking kinda AIDSy) tells his dad “we all know my life sucks, I ruined my job, my marriages, I don’t really have any friends.”
We catch up with Francis and his Asian wife who looks like Moe Stooge.
The mixed-race girlfriend bonds with the depressed daughter over making fun of Malcolm.
And that’s just episode one!
The end of the "previously on" sequence has HAL saying “and someone actually asked for more of this.”
Fun fact: NOBODY DID.