pfoser

And the winner of the parent who screams their kid's name the most at this indoor play park goes to MADISON's mom!

In honor of the legendary George Wendt, here is every time Norm Peterson walks into Cheers

Improv dating profile: “Yes and” in the streets. “No but” in the sheets.

@Talk_To_The_Hat the plate

@ColleenDJustice but I'M that person!

I was hoping they might have been a little more ‘yes and’ with me on this one. Oh well.

My wife [online browsing]: why don’t you have a shirt that says, “I heart my girlfriend?” Me: because she kept it as a sleep shirt.

Just spent an embarrassing amount of time figuring out how to spell "separate." How's your day going?

Officially turned into my father this morning. Handed someone $22 for a $21.98 bill and said, “this is perfect. I was hoping to get your two cents on my purchase today.”

@ObservationADay l always thought Joan Rivers and Lady Elaine Fairchilde looked alike. We should have gone with that. – Steven Tyler

@pfoser I've always though Steven Tyler and Joan Rivers looked alike. You should have gone with that.

my wife is pissed I said jessica biel and steven tyler look like each other. For the record, I think they're both pretty. But I'm still in trouble at home. Help.

@ObservationADay which sounds like squeezing gravy from a sponge.

That sound you hear is 5.6 million Minnesotan heads turning their attention from baseball to football.

@RobertBaril2 #amen

Show me a guy that's suddenly and openly embraced religion and I'll show you a guy that really fucked up a bit ago.

The Waltons just started. It’s a very exciting time over here at George and Bonnie’s house.

!SEASON 2! Ba-boom-ba

@Royal_Stein we care whether or not we weather through our weather. and also whether you're a good witch or a bad witch. which would you rather? love, dan rather.

dunno who was here and put the syrup in the fridge but that's not how we do.

Throwback Thursday. Thanksgiving 2014. "Only half of a pound difference between the two." pfoser.com #decisions #tbt #thanksgiving #thanksgiving2021

@Royal_Stein Hand tossed threats with thick cut bacon please.

Someone approved this storyboard: Diane Keaton’s new tinder date surprise arrives at the scattering of her husband‘s ashes at the end of Justin Bieber‘s new ‘Ghost’ video and everyone’s pleased.

it's like a christmas miracle.