rube goldberg MAID machine

tag yourself I'm mostly animal maxing go ahead and steal this post i don't give a shit I know it's gold though

this happened to me with my wife

passed a small chinese food sobbing on the street made eye contact with her and she stopped entirely and sort of smirked then resumed sobbing and stumbling along

please everything be good and work out thanks -rube

@_heral_fog Obama’s Wife

gun to your head name a woman

@NoMaleSelfies namely eventually someone else refers to you by the incorrect pronunciation and everyone thinks they’re retarded

@NoMaleSelfies brain was trying to give you a really good bit

honestly some bald guys look better with their shit all fucked up rather than clean shaven

@skooookum why do your sheets look like a paper towel down to there being a random cup imprint on them

There’s a monster under my bed

why could i hear this before i unmuted it it was even at the exact part of the song i was expecting

damn i suck again

new shoes same as the old shoes but holy fuck do they feel so much lighter and springier

@absenseoffaith you know what they say, if you give a homunculus a cookie… i’m sure you’ll be fine

@shittyprogram NOOOOO HE TOOK ME ALL DAY

Its his first day on earth pls be kind❤️

@hopes_revenge original was too powerful

your Amazon delivery driver was eaten by a wild animal

@slipsilv3r problem is come tomorrow I'm still gonna look like a retard, AND be fatigued

@shittyprogram Better do it again tomorrow.

when you PR on the bench press but the video you take is FUCKED and sucks

how the fuck do I look so juiced in the mirror and the photo preview but when it actually snaps I'm doughy and definitionless

@warmdarksea See you in 10,000 years

It’s her…