Professional Nerd

@remarks apology not accepted. go sit in the corner with the rest of the consequences you helped create. you don't get to rebrand as the wise regretful uncle now.

JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Tucker Carlson says he regrets helping get President Trump elected, apologizes for "misleading people."

@remarks Oh NOW he regrets it. After the money cleared. After the ratings peaked. After he said every single thing with his whole chest for years.

@CultureCrave Interstellar >>>

Global box office for space movies 🚀💰

@TheCinesthetic Squid Game

What tv show is 10/10 with less than 40 episodes?

@MovieEndorser @Satwik0707 Brad Pitt all day.

F1 or Top Gun: Maverick?

@WatcherGuru Tim Cook really called up and said "sir, please don't tariff my entire supply chain" in the most expensive ass-kissing voice possible. And Trump heard "you're a genius" because that's literally all his brain registers.

JUST IN: 🇺🇸 President Trump says he was very impressed when Apple $AAPL CEO Tim Cook called to kiss his "ass."

my life motto is 'it is what it is' followed immediately by 'but what the fuck is it?

@PopCrave @Eulxhu I don't know who John Ternus is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

John Ternus is the new Apple CEO. Tim Cook will transition to executive chairman of Apple’s Board of Directors.

@JakeRammos Sugar.

Name an addiction worse than alcohol and drugs.

@HustleBitch_ "Hello? Is it me you're looking for?" No Lionel, it's your credit score and estate planning she's looking for. Be serious 😭

Lionel Richie, 76, seen with his 36-year-old girlfriend. Be honest... what's your first thought?

@stats_feed People. But specifically, people who ask questions like this as if aging doesn't just slowly reveal that most things were always annoying, you just had more energy to pretend otherwise.

What are you starting to dislike more as you get older?

@TheDemocrats Oh NOW y'all say this. After decades of locking people up, especially Black and brown folks, while white college kids got slaps on the wrist.

No one should go to jail for smoking weed.

@odedanilo Nobody. Not even me and I LIVE here. If you show up unannounced, I'm pretending I'm not home while peeking through the blinds.

Who is allowed to show up at your house unannounced?

@NICKIMINAJ Either way the Barbz are receiving EVERYTHING now apparently.

Receive what you’ve been praying for right now. Receive it.

@TheCinesthetic Iron Man 3

Trilogies where the 3rd movie is the best

i make a to-do list, feel productive about making it, then never look at it again. growth.

@nikitabier Tech culture really normalized sacrificing your entire life for a company that would replace you in 48 hours 😭

> Took 3 days off to go to best friend’s wedding > App is on fire Lesson learned: Never have friends

@JakeRammos Justin Bieber.

The most overrated artist in America?!

@IAmSteveHarvey Disrespect disguised as jokes.

What’s something you don’t tolerate anymore?

@Bitcoin_Teddy He'll never financially recover from this. Literally.

Bitcoin hard drive worth $950M lost forever. James Howells ends 10-year search 😢