Rod Rich

I wish there was a point system where flirting with girls out of your league would lead to something

They want me to make a move? In this economy? Without my Brad Pitt jacket? Mannnnnnnn, fuck chief! @richtakes

@_leburner They got rid of the 40 hour compilations on YouTube

@_leburner R as in Robert Loggia

Mets win. World Series. What is Lerner burner?

David Stearns you suck

@_leburner How do you shoot 500 percent from the field?

First round NFL mock draft if every team had to draft an in-state college player

Things that suck @thewitmaster - Hotel pillows - No car tissues - Seeing people alone at the liquor store - Joe Schoen - Back Sweat - Someone at the table doesn’t want another appetizer - “Defensive Run Prevention” - The Harrison Hill AKA “The Comstock Hill”

I really can’t do this anymore.

@PorkManEarl Hey Earl, great question. I can’t imagine it happening considering Steve Cohen tweeted yesterday. What are your three favorite types of goldfish? I’ll hang up and listen for the answer

Serious question here: Once the Mets get swept by the Dodgers in an hour and drop their eighth in a row, is there a chance Mendoza gets canned?

85 percent chance this tweet comes back to haunt me but Clay Holmes is GOOD

What happened to working counts? This team watches DP throw 30 pitches an inning and goes down on 7 pitches. Thanks new hitting coach!

There hasn’t been a day since I first watched in a month ago that I haven’t thought about Good Will Hunting

@richtakes You see this coat?

Jarod Struminger, Brad Pitt, etc.

@thewitmaster And your thoughts on the New York Mets defensive run prevention?

Tipping culture is easily a top 3 worst attribute of America

This is the same team as last year but worse

The saxophones are getting loud

I’m in love with a girl I can’t have