The last text you sent is your opening line as a SmartLess guest. What’d you get?

@SmartLess Just ate my last two eggs. Pray for me 🙏

@SmartLess “After this, let’s go fix the world” I work in construction and exaggerate often.

@SmartLess “ Nah, but Joey was being passive aggressive as hell about it so I was super rude wit him and when I see Emily & Ashlyn they gettin that same energy for instigating all this…Welcome to Smartless”

@SmartLess Oh no! You didn’t eat lunch?

@SmartLess Yes, for sure

@SmartLess I hear squeaky shoes!

@SmartLess “You there?”

@SmartLess When are you going to eat that meatloaf I bought you? No lie. 😂

@SmartLess Oh bummer.

@SmartLess Should we open a venue called Hanging Brain?

@SmartLess “I could eat lasagna until I was dead”

@SmartLess All I got was the unanswered question of why one of your hosts refuses to roll down his sleeves.

@SmartLess "Can we talk about this graphic? Did this guy use his Apple II-E?"

@SmartLess Reminder from Alexa: Drink water

@SmartLess With Steube unable to vote Santos isn’t going anywhere soon….l

@SmartLess @Keithurban does feed his crew very well on the road 🍽️

@SmartLess Call me.

@SmartLess "Oh I'm super good, I found the magic sex weed combination". That's a win.

@SmartLess “I’m gassing up at Costco before the vortex hits!”…(gotta think about these things in 🇨🇦 winter)

@SmartLess I'd like to cancel this appointment and reschedule in about a month

@SmartLess Did you eat my Skittles?

@SmartLess Did you make it?

@SmartLess “Here I am.”

@SmartLess It's not earwax

@SmartLess "I'm here, I think? Are you not open??"

@SmartLess Go to bed ya doofus

@SmartLess you’re supposed to get 8 inches 😁 (lol - I was talking about snow)

@SmartLess That is terrifying huh?

@SmartLess "Barry Manilow" (discussion with BFF regarding best '70's singer)

@SmartLess They just called an early dismissal for snow so I can pick up the kids from school.

@SmartLess “Yay! So excited to see you again!” Guess it’ll have to be for a return guest. I vote for George Clooney.

@SmartLess Just need some BS to fuel my flame.