LOCALMAN

Mrs Yusuf got her husband a 17 pro for valentine. Little did she know her Husband had preordered a car from us. We Shipped it in , upgraded few things and delivered it to her in Ibadan for Valentine 💌

@lexisrenis @shredwithQpid This is false

@shredwithQpid Your first car in Nigeria will always show you shege. Even if na Toks. So far no be brand new, e go give you wahala. Na wetin you go use learn more about cars and their usage. So your subsequent purchases and decisions will be better.

My biggest fear is my first car giving me regular issues. It’ll traumatize you for life.

@Wizarab10 @oku_yungx Omo her legs in that boot 😭

Some men will still smash. Oh Wiii Yaaaa

@fwzishere @vinicius_snrr How I take understand this 😭

Farm city deaconess dey charge me 70k for only praise, no be even praise and worship. omo make i go buy anointing oil watch online church program

@duroteemy You’re testifying right now 😂😂

Randomly remembered one time I was scammed on instagram. Before I paid, I asked the vendor ‘please hope you will deliver’ and the person replied with ‘don’t worry, you will testify’😭😭😭

Do white people also get prophecies that they will travel to Africa?

The phone batteries won’t last for 2 months before it get swollen.

@tobyasky Omo

Sorry, just seeing your quote. I’ve attached the photo you quoted, it’s too blurry for my liking, I added extra for you😭 You see, when I was working in one of the biggest banks in Nigeria as an I.T professional, you were still drawing Davido on your breast, twerking on Instagram for likes, and selling your body like bole & fish all over Port Harcourt. You even went through my posts to comeback with my football?😂 At every point in time, I’ve always had multiple options, unlike you who has one, OLOSHO😂 I’m a Chartered Banker, a certified and experienced Project Manager, a Certified BA-Professional, a Senior Applications Analyst, BSc., MSc., just to mention a few. In every area of life, I’m not your mate, except in knacking for money😂😂😂 By the way, that picture was taken in Barcelona. I can go anywhere in the world, with my money. No Big Brother or drawing Davido on my breast, or twerking on IG. You this local pig. You wey dey smell For Live TV😂😂😂

@Updateboyx @FalodunIya47278 ShopRite didn’t see Bokku coming

Molue didn't see BRT coming Bluetooth didn't see Airdrop coming ATM didn't see POS coming Pattern didn't see Face ID coming Western Union didn't see CashApp coming. Snapchat didn't see TikTok coming ICQ didn't see telegram coming Add yours 👇🏽

The rain in Ibadan is crazy

I returned to my hotel at 2:30am. Thanks to my SSA colleague, Mr. Kehinde Motajo, who took me down to the place. I opened my iPad and tracked the whereabouts of my missing iPhone 17 Pro Max. To my surprise, the device was already in Wuse Zone 6, about 8km away from Eagle Square where it was picked. I called the phone repeatedly but no answer. I texted it, pleading, as it is my main workstation. The ‘Mover’ didn’t move. I could not sleep. I managed to sleep around 3:50am and woke up by 5:30am. After I prayed Fajr, I started tracking the iPhone again on my “Find My” app. Then, I saw a movement and the phone was geo-located to a house in Wuse Zone 6 but the map would not show the street name. I was curious. I placed a call to a top police officer in Abuja for help. He quickly contacted Mr. Victor Geoffrey, an Assistant Commissioner of Police and Commander of Scorpion Squad, Abuja, who immediately activated his team for recovery of the phone. The police team, led by Assistant Superintendent of Police (ASP) Isah Mohammed, started trailing and tracking the suspect who stole the phone… at 8:20am. At 10:50am, we tracked the iPhone to a location in Karu, near NNPC Filling Station. The policemen called me and asked me to join them. I was tracking from my iPad and the distance was closing in on the phone. At a roadside car lot close to Karu Bridge, my iPad beeped and showed my phone was close to where my driver (Mallam Idrissa) and I parked our vehicle. I came down and walked into the car lot; the 3D map of “Find My” app led me to a shield that looked like a makeshift mosque where some 15 people (mostly in their 50s) were sitting and chatting away. I pretended I wanted to pray. As I sat on a bench, then my iPad beeped and indicated the phone was exactly where I sat. I signaled at the police clad in mufti, who were stealthily following me, and they moved in. At this point, I saw professionalism displayed by the policemen firsthand. I was impressed. They asked to see the head of the car lot. An elderly man (looking 60s) came out and he was properly briefed about their mission. The car lot’s head confirmed the people sitting under the shield were coming from the Eagle Square after attending APC Convention but their extraordinary SUV (branded with the face of a governorship aspirant in Nasarawa State) had overheating issue. So, they had to stop by for repair before proceeding to Keffi. So, the car lot’s head then notified the leader of the group of the presence of policemen and their mission. The leader of the group agreed they all be thoroughly searched. After searching 5 persons, the next person to be searched started getting nervous. Lo and behold: my iPhone slipped out of Mahmoud Abdullahi’s trousers. The phone was off due to low battery. But I had my powerbank with me to power it on. I was told to type my passcode; then the phone came alive. Mahmoud Abdullahi, who claimed to be working with Nasarawa State Ministry of Justice, stole my phone during the chaotic moment at the VVIP entrance of the Eagle Square. The suspect was arrested... Many thank to these highly professional men of Nigeria Police Force. This crime-busting team led by ASP Isah Mohammed comprises ASP Douglas Ishaku, Inspector John Emmanuel and Inspector Gana Mohammed. These guys are wonderful. 2/2

bro to bro: money always comes first.

@Mz_Tosyn Shingbain won Le ri

E lojuti kobo

@Engr_Ashile Happy birthday Engr

+1 Alhamdullahi. Everyone it my birthday 🎉

Jeff is happily married to 2 women. On this episode of love or lies, we spent some time at their house & discovered a few things. Pls watch here youtu.be/UNSy5imEmbQ

@JoeyAkan Will keep clapinf till it’s my turn

Last year, I told you guys I have a secret life as an athlete, and someone tried to shit on me. This year, I've started sharing a bit of that, some of my races, and it's been a great ride. I've been dragged for being insensitive, laughed at for using funny language, or asking for too much effort from internet strangers. I don't mind though. I'm just happy to be an endurance athlete. And today, I became an Adidas 'talent.' Get cracked. Train harder.

If it’s not money I don’t want to hear right now .

@john322226 Way to go. Congrats Lobi

A foreign football brand just paid me to manage their account as delegate for 2 months and edit Match results and graphic news with my ai skill. Apparently, they saw my watermark handle in one of the Europe qualifier edits I posted 2 days ago and ❤️ it. God, you get mouth 👏

@notjusttomi True fans ride with you no matter the song

If you had 100 true fans vs 100,000 passive listeners, which are you choosing and why?

@miriamogb Looks weird too

You can never ever ever make me like guinea fowl. That thing tastes weird.

@VisualByKTC @ObaDeleke This is inaccurate.

@ObaDeleke Most iPhone 17 you are seeing around is not UK used... They are Nigerian used. Either someone sold it after using it for few weeks or they downgrade, I as a vendor is telling for a fact we are still even ordering bulk New iPhone 17s... Nothing like UK used Yet.

iPhone 17 has UK used already? Why are these UK people like this?