Tom Calvert

I've always wanted to try drag, I've had so much support from the best people these past few months to get me back on my feet and I couldn't of done it without any of you . You know who you are. So without further a do, I'd like to introduce you to my alter ego Tomii Natrix

@DorsetCouncilUK I live on a farm between all the road works in ferndown/Longham and I cannot go parley way , into ferndown , past haskins , or back to Longham heading to kinson. How do I go to get my shopping ? When will they be open again ?

@Bournemouthecho My friend was the one who got the driver out of the car

Car has caught on fire on Poole bypass bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/23612061.…

@instagram My account keeps saying couldn't refresh feed. It's been 24 hours now and driving me nuts. I've checked Internet. I've refreshed everything. Cleared cache. Uninstalled and reinstalled. How can I fix this ?

Work in sales and I get a 10% performance bonus every January. Wife thinks it is half that. We get 5% to do something nice together. I get 5% for me. I wish I could say it is used for hookers and blow but I've spent it on a pottery course.

I dated a girl who would put the milk in first when making a cuppa and I thought this psychotic behaviour. Several years on, I've found out she's been arrested for smashing up her new BF's car because he stayed out after his curfew. Trust your instincts.

What phrase have you said more than any other? Mine is “no worries if not”

@Bournemouthecho Stapehill ferndown completely swallowed!

Also, please do let us know of any flooding where you are so we can make everyone aware to avoid it

Good morning. There's travel disruption following more heavy rain overnight #Dorset #LocalNews ➡️Matchams Lane is closed due to flooding ➡️Trains services are being cancelled between #Bournemouth and #Brockenhurst due to flooding ➡️ Latest in our live blog bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/23252389.…

Shoutout to everyone who likes to seal a packet of biscuits by simply pushing the open end up against a wall.

hoje começa os dias de chorar por coisas que já chorei e fingir surpresa por coisas que já sei #TheLastOfUs

@BournemouthWea1 Yep!

We had a really creaky stair case. I recently fixed all bar 1 step. I told the Mrs I couldn't get it any better. In reality, that step is now the last line of defence to notify me of her coming down the stairs when I'm wanking in the living room.

ITS FLAT FUCK FRIDAY ROLL THE CHRISTMAS CLIP

Visiting friends with my wife and their dog took a particular interest in me, just sat in front of me wagging its tail. Turned out it was a retired sniffer dog and unknown to everyone else I had a gram of coke in my pocket

@cher Losing a parent is the hardest thing to go through. Take time to heal , look after yourself 💜

Can’t sleep very well.

@DorsetSnow What a sight to see from the skylight !

ITS FLAT FUCK FRIDAY ROLL THE CLIP BABY

@causekha0s @DeliverooHelp @Bournemouthecho I had the same happen Sunday. Spent £30 on an order , only a milkshake arrived. Waited over an hour. When I spoke to an agent they cancelled the chat. But couldn't provide any compensation. Assholes @Deliveroo

SCAMMED by @DeliverooHelp - @Bournemouthecho coming your way