Thrilled And Bored

I like how in action movies everyone just knows how to drive a boat.

@HarleyM23237136 You know what’s kept me from being dragged from my door to a FEMA camp? The total absence of FEMA camps to be dragged to.

@kylekinane @AndyRichter Doesn’t Harley know there aren’t any funny conservative comedians?

@RonFilipkowski I have pictures of Bigfoot. You can’t see them, but I assure you, I HAVE them. And as long as there are no follow up questions, they are undeniable proof that Bigfoot exists. But you can’t see them!

I wonder how long they can keep telling their people that they have all this evidence that Biden took bribes, without actually producing any evidence, before they start to question whether this is a hoax? Maybe never, but they are making big promises they know they can’t keep.

@TheLeadCNN @ddale8 Whoa whoa whoa slow down! You’re saying Trump lied!? In front of a camera!? To people!? Who would have thunk it?

Trump makes several false claims in his post-arraignment speech at Bedminster, New Jersey. CNN's @ddale8 does a fact check

@damn_elle Sweet day-maker… 🖤

hey 🖤

@yasisalek Have you watched The Commish though?

Just gonna co-opt the opinions of people I respect about The Idol while I continue to watch The Shield

@yasisalek I trust @DSANDDURGA and that’s all.

fellow perfume girlies...do we trust fragrancenet?

@damn_elle Not asking for it doesn’t mean it wasn’t needed.

here’s a selfie you didn’t ask for…

@Super70sSports Let’s be honest, Rollie Fingers was crushing ass with the Padres, serving primo mustache rides and there was no room for Lil’ Willie.

Baseball history was made in 1978 when the Brewers' Willie Mueller halted a 102-year streak of every major league player being able to get laid.

@JamesUrbaniak upon reflection of your @SleepWithCelebs interview, could your Crawling memory not be a dream, or a pure memory, but a combination of dream and PHOTOGRAPHY to create a memory? I’ve found this to be true in some of my memories.

@PAPPADEMAS @yasisalek I’m so stoked to see them in Chicago!

this is in about four hours which means you have time to listen to the first 6 Steely Dan albums in their entirety before you leave or you can play Gaucho 6 times and then come over

@SleepWithCelebs @johnmoe @JamesUrbaniak I wish more people talked about Dave Made A Maze…

On this week's show, we welcome the brilliant character actor @JamesUrbaniak who sends you off to dreamland with a detailed rundown of life in 60s and 70s Bayonne, NJ. maximumfun.org/episodes/sleep…

I’ve been wandering this internet hellscape for 14yrs… Why?#MyTwitterAnniversary

What the world needs now is for Jon Brion to cover The Lovin’ Spoonful’s Darling, Come Home Soon.

@AldermanTabares @ChicagosMayor @cpdmemorial @FOP7Chicago @royalpratt @Chicago_Police 13 yr olds are still children regardless of their lifestyle. And many children, given the opportunity to survive, grow up and learn and evolve. This feels a little bit like race-baiting, so please be more thoughtful about how you talk about these issues.

.@ChicagosMayor’s comments comparing the deaths of a gangbanger & an officer were wrong. A hero fallen is a tragedy. Ofc. Preston’s death marked the end of a short but beautiful life of service & sacrifice. If we truly value her gift, we see there is no comparison.

@yasisalek Something is up today, I already choked up four times at: 1. Mrs. Davis 2. The mention of queer joy in regards to the music of @AhliMusic 3. Remembering a dream where my son snuggled with me. 4. @abreezeclayton talking about her faith in the future on @PodSaveAmerica

have already experienced devastating rejection, cried in the shower, AND made a nutritious and delicious smoothie, all before noon

@yasisalek @harvilla If by “perform” you mean hang out with me, then yes.

Do you guys think me and @harvilla should “perform” at riot fest

Don’t turn Twitter into a streaming platform, @elonmusk, it’s one thing to have to read your shitty unfunny tweets but having to come here and listen to your dumb voice would be an assault on more senses than it’s worth. Kindly unveil the beauty that silence brings.

@finbarro @RonFilipkowski He’s always been married to the money.

Breaking news from the Trump rally. Apparently, Mike Lindell has just gotten married.