
Bill Torpy
1.7K posts

Bill Torpy
@billtorpy
Metro columnist


You’ve had micro pen*s on your brain and from your mouth for weeks. You’re shaming yourself. Except you have no shame. I hate reaching into the gutter to deal with your foul crap and I’ve tried to avoid it but that’s where you live and that’s how you conduct yourself. Now you play victim. You’re a vile, mentally unhinged creep.












Mullin: War is ugly. It smells bad. If anybody has ever been there and been able to smell the war and taste it and fill it in your nostrils and hear it, it's something that you'll never forget. Fortunately, we have President Hegseth. President Hegseth has been there.




In preparation for tomorrow’s hockey matchup between America 🇺🇸 and Canada 🇦🇺, here are some FACTS that the Canadians hate: 1. America is the oldest and greatest country on earth 2. Canada is a British province that must do what the queen says 3. The greatest hockey player who ever lived was American 4. Canada is poor, poorer than our South American neighbors in Mexico. The average Canadian makes less than $10,000 per year and doesn’t have the internet 5. Justin Turdeaux must do what Donald Trump says because they don’t have sovereignty 6. Vermont has superior maple syrup to anything in Canada 7. No Canadian has ever had a #1 song or album in the US 8. Canadians are the most obese and unattractive Western country 9. Quebec residents must speak English FIRST because America is the birth place of the English language 10. Canadians have an average IQ than is 20 points below the average US IQ


>Be a medieval English serf in 1250 >Work the lord's land from dawn to dusk >Pay rent in crops, labour, and a share of your livestock >The livestock you cannot eat >Poaching a deer from the lord's forest: death >Poaching a rabbit: mutilation >The lord eats venison >You eat pottage >Pottage is a thin grain and vegetable soup >It is eaten every day >For every meal >For your entire life >Die at 35 of nutritional deficiency >Eight hundred years later, nutritionists recommend plant-based eating as a sign of enlightenment and class consciousness >The pottage is now artisanal >It costs £14 at brunch

Historical Figures as Regular People

















