Raq

Green Flags in a Man’s Apartment: 1. Expensive candles 2. Nice hand soap 3 Actual toilet paper, not a single-ply situation (recession indicator 4. No clothes on the floor 5. No dishes in the sink 6. Uses face wash (bonus points if it’s not 3-in-1) 7. Owns a hairbrush 8. Plants that are alive 9. Wine glasses that aren’t stolen from a bar 10. Clean sheets (that smell like detergent, not “boy”) 11. More than two things in the fridge -and none of them are expired

@Madisonkanna @sudobunni 🥳🥳

@sudobunni its so great here though x.com/Madisonkanna/s…

she's a 10 but she loves twitter 💔

@OvertempMarine Where do I find one

@raqisright Gator 🐊 Grabbers she’s single!

Swamp girl

@City_Crip They’re usually hidden

@raqisright Why do your boobs look good I didn't think you had those

Fat lives matter

@brandonleeee23 Not skinny :(

@raqisright Take it easy on the foie gras.

Come to my party or I’ll assume you’re gay posh.vip/e/love-story-9…

@AveryCriscitel1 I had 3 blackberrys - do with that info what you will

@raqisright How old are you??

Today’s kids will never understand the ping

@realJamesHawk I love BBM

@raqisright I miss the ping and BBM

@skylarromines Yes

@raqisright want to cohost?

March Madness is beyond gay You’re cheering for dudes born in 2007 The only bracket you should be worried about is your tax bracket. You’re poor and obsessed with little boys. Grow tf up

@MurrayHillGuy1 Dw I’m going to inject before I see him

Friend has a date tonight with this chubby chick… what we thinking?

@martyrdison I too have been a victim of thinking that this is a good idea Then you meet all their friends and realize they are truly 24

why a successful woman should date young men: - they have more time to give you constant attention - endless compliments - high sex drive - understands internet culture - thinks you are always right (you have more experience) - treats you incredibly well - straightforward (has no filters) - still believes in love - not traumatized by other women (ill be the one) - worships you and kisses the ground you walk on - still believes in gifts (will buy you anything you want even though he’s broke) - parents still pay for most things so he can spend on you - talks to you like he actually likes you because he doesn’t play games - broke but will be successful in a few years - no wrinkles - no erectile dysfunction - no beer belly - gives you accomplishment because it feels like taking care of a child - training you to be a mother (see above)

@JBasest Playing them…….. not watching

@raqisright Sports make men tougher raq

@ExtremeCen80240 lmfaoooo these are my 3am thoughts actually

@raqisright This is such a deep tweet for early morning. I can’t.

We often imagine the worst case scenario We play it out in our heads: everything that could possibly go wrong But the reality is we don’t often account for what could go right Most of us are afraid of failure, being let down, to have something spiral out of our control. In the midst of this - Don’t forget to imagine the best case scenario too, the reward is often worth the risk.

@ajcardano22 Dw I just got a clean bill of health from my dr

@raqisright Zero drip is a good thing. No one wants a skank with chlamydia or gonorrhea, Raq.

dressing conservative doesn’t mean you have to dress like a mom who gained 10 lbs with every child you ladies have zero drip and too much Zara

@nicknactax No literally 😭 why are they wearing tweed blazers

Some of them literally dress Mormon. And not the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives kind. They dress like they're going to a presidential address from President James Garfield. It's really off-putting. Ladies: invest in Loro Piana, Valentino, or McLaughlin's if you're feeling a little different

@LockedinCaesar Is it open yet

@raqisright Can u go check the situation room please and report back

When he tells me to go to hell, but I’m already in DC