Chiclephobia

@suchnerve My favorite is the old people on facebook that comment under recipes "I can't eat salt!" This means the recipe isn't for you, Janet, and you really don't have to share that with the class. 😂

Bean Soup Theory is perhaps the most relevant sociological analysis of the 2020s and I’m not joking

@sivori I've always said I don't have a favorite child, I have an EASIER child. My son is a house plant- food, water, a little sunlight and he's fine. But every minor inconvenience has been like the end of the world for my daughter since the moment she was born. 🫠

As a parent now, I'm not sure I believe in the concept of favourites. I love all my four children as much as another and worry about each of them for different reasons and love each of them for different reasons, namely for who they are. However, I have observed that certain things happen more naturally with some of my kids. For example, my second son is rather private. I think of him as "the man of few words". We relate through physical play and in quality time, but conversation flows much more naturally with my oldest son and oldest daughter who engage with me in the way I prefer, which is verbally. At bedtime, I can talk for a long time with my daughter but with my #2 son I almost have to pull conversation out of him and will not even share much when open to volunteering. He does not even like me to look at his work, as in some way he does not like the attention and enjoys his privacy, but still likes when I praise him for his successes and efforts. But he loves to wrestle and still wants to connect that way and is always up to go do something together. The point is, that I suspect for most parents, though not for all obviously, there is the consideration of how the parent operates. Though we may love our children equally, some relationships are more work. There is also, I think, this love affair you have with the oldest child in the same way you always remember your first love. Your first child is who made you a parent. It's like falling in love the first time. They did not do anything to deserve this status, but you generally spent much more time with them than the third or fourth who always had to share your attentions with the others. And, you were younger yourself. Seven years separates my oldest and youngest child, during which time many things happened.

@stepmom_420 She straight up has a butt crack on her chest. 🤨

#quirkyloverosee ig update

@SeylahVieYT You messaged him on TikTok?! What a loser! You should keep that information to yourself, gorl. 😂😅

#foodiebeauty isn’t being modest count 1,345,456,678,999 I’m tapping out guys sorry clipping this made me want to barf #gorlworld someone send this to Salah on TikTok he does check his messages I know from experience

@AmberrMone It's the jet black eyeliner that completely surrounds the entire eye. No blend whatsoever.

@tsvenusrosie You...read him a poem? 🙃

had a rlly interesting experience at the doctor today. before i left i checked with the front desk to make sure they sent in all my meds. immediately after, the doc i saw pulled me back into the room cause he said he wanted to talk to me. he told me he didn't feel comfortable prescribing hrt and we had a long talk about that. i told him he's within his right to do that but that i'd be willing to talk with him about it if he wanted. i asked him why and he told me he felt it was harmful. to make a long convo short i told him about my experiences and the medical science afaik, i even shared a poem i wrote when i was 17 and i think it had an impact on him even if he ended up not prescribing me the hrt

@NothingWasScary And then everyone lifted you onto their shoulders and cheered, right? Because this shit did not happen.

@wholelif3 Plums

They say mango is serious about being a fruit (no arguments from me ofc) but I want to know, what are the fruits that AREN’T serious about being fruits??

@RyanOnThePath @joeybeastmarket I'm obsessed with the way that song builds.

@joeybeastmarket Motorcycle Drive By is the best song of the era and it’s not even close. On its own it is better than many other bands’ entire discographies.

I would like to write a longpost articlepost about how deeply this album has impacted me and how strongly I feel it is one of the greatest musical feats ever created and how it defines what it means to be an American. Is that okay?

@latterdaylaura Always putting yourself last for 18 years sounds like a great way to want to kill yourself. A good parent realizes that the kids USUALLY come first, but every once in awhile we must prioritize ourselves for a few hours or a day because it's healthy.

My super strong parenting opinion is that while the kids are awake, you come last. No spending all of Saturday golfing. That’s family time. 6 am tee time only, maybe. Wanna go to the gym? Go after the kids go to bed, or wake up at 5. In a few short years, they’ll be out of the house and you’ll have all the time in the world for your own stuff. It’s okay to come last for a while.

@RochesterNY585 I see what you're doing with the costume, since in reality you're a skinny, effeminate man. This is who you are in your head, right? Because in real life, you have the intimidation factor of a first grader.

Endure and do not ever relent. Always persist and endure through difficult times even when the odds are stacked against us. Tell the truth even when it’s unpopular. Defend our borders and defend our nation. In this way even ordinary citizens can become heroic. #rochester #batman

@StephenKing STILL whining.

DEAR MAGA: No more wars; lower prices; America First. You were fools to elect a sociopath who never has to face the voters again.

@Maxsmom1224 @TMZ I love that you're giving advice on how to investigate here. That is some CONFIDENCE. They should've put you on the team, Cecille. She would have been found weeks ago.

@TMZ Start at the the place she had dinner, check every camera from there to her home. And don't let that sheriff in on anything.

Nancy Guthrie's Family Asks Community to Renew Their Attention in Her Case tmz.me/Dz43L9Y

@AndieG99 @_sorrengailll So you're just bringing an entire day's worth of sweat and dirt into bed with you? Feet that have been in shoes all over the sheets? You deserve better.

@_sorrengailll Eh?! I never get a shower before bed! I have a shower in the morning & if I haven’t had make up on that day, I just brush my teeth & don’t even wash my face! I just get into bed 🤷‍♀️

Ladies can I tell yall a secret? Sometimes I get out the shower and don't put lotion or oil on, just deodorant, and get my ass right in the bed cause I'm too tired to do anything else😭😭😭

@liminal_warmth I pushed a shopping cart with bugs bunny and got eaten by the car radio. That was enough for me. All done. 😂

I don’t understand how anyone could hear about salvia trip reports like “I spent 5 years in the bug dimension” or “I was a sentient inanimate hose in my back yard for 20 years” and still be like “well maybe I’ll just try it once…”

@powcampsurvivor I don't even care, this kind of hits. 😂

that eminem tweet reminded me of this phase i went through where like half of the shit in my notes app was me trying to write 90s slim shady era raps on the train

@mrfishflesh @powcampsurvivor RIP to the king. TMDWU 🩷🩷🩷

@powcampsurvivor RIP cobes 🤘🏼 twu

@GLeftist2 @CrocodileCam Did you hop in and clean up? I mean, all that water was right there. 😂

@CrocodileCam Shitting my pants out in the middle of nowhere with three pools left to clean

Let’s hear them work horror stories

@aphotomama @CrocodileCam This is so sad. I hope she got help.

@CrocodileCam I worked at a design showroom for a year or two and my bosses fiancé died. She kind of had a meltdown and saw him everywhere in the showroom and talk to him throughout the day. Customers were very wary.

@NeurospicyLife3 Ignoring Chins completely, I might argue that women SHOULD spoil themselves for their birthdays. And you're spoiling yourself just like she is, in a different way. Her soaps are your dinosaurs, I guess.

Do people in their 40s really still "spoil themselves" for their own birthdays by buying shitty soaps and mall crap then showing them off in hauls? I find it so odd she still makes such a big deal of her birthday and shows off what she gets, but maybe it's just me?