🌮👸🏾

My future husband has to be fine like @JimmyG_10 or @Rudolph2Mason or I don’t even want a husband.

@goatmelon1 @yungnstackin ha？

@Cathom_4 @yungnstackin the way no one sees this as an obviously chat gpt bot

white girls finding out you're not having fun is the equivalent of a black grandmother finding out you haven't eaten.

@murmeoh The story was written by a person who was impressed by the story. If you want to know more about the new information, you can check the details, but if you want to see the master, you can use the special keys. Another successful person

i know a guy who use to work at the NSA and he kept putting "Sent from my iPhone" at the bottom of all his top secret emails and eventually they sent people to go knock on his door for questioning

@voilamagic_ I acknowledge that you have a small amount of food, which is why your package is based on the cost of the package

The average person isn’t physically active enough to be eating 3 times a day 😭

@wapital3 People like this are just a waste of oxygen. What does refreshing the page 172 times accomplish? Aside from proving that his head is empty and he has nothing better to do, does he really think it’s going to speed up the shipping? It’s a classic case of "adult-baby"

wow this guy checked the tracking number 172 times there’s definitely something normal in that package

@menscoach1 Stop using the child as a shield; you are nothing but a coward who lacks the guts to get a divorce. You play the role of the "magnanimous" husband at home, while she’s out there working on her "core" you subconsciously know: a cuckold’s horns are all you’re worth in this life.

My wife cheated on me after 10 years of marriage. She had an affair with her gym trainer, and it lasted a year. She cried and begged for forgiveness. I stayed for our two young kids. That was 2 years ago, but the pain is still fresh. I am consumed by anger every day. The images replay nonstop. I hate my marriage. I hate my wife. I hate myself. I feel like I’ve lost direction. I don’t know where to go... or where to stop. How do I stop hating myself... for who I’ve become? --From my Dm, give him some advice.

@NasheCeezet_zw The pinnacle of "simp-dom" is self-delusion. If HR keeps summoning you for "meetings" day after day yet hasn't fired you yet, it simply means your employer believes there is still some residual value left to be squeezed out of you. The day you are finally drained dry,

My workmate is fighting for his life,😭 Man has a full-blown crush on our strict HR. The same HR that sends emails like per my last email with attitude. But tell me why she calls him into her office almost every day for endless meetings. We started noticing a pattern, no one else gets called like that.
No real issues, her voice is always softer than usual towards him.

@suchnerve Stop swooning. He’s laughing because he’s stumbled upon the ultimate sucker charging three hours' worth of pay for two days' worth of work, making the rest of that time pure profit. You think this is some romantic encounter, but in reality, it’s just targeted poverty relief.

Hey chat what does it mean if a mechanic can’t stop smiling when talking to me, and shortened the repair timeline from 2 days to 3 hours for me

@yurihustle Aside from mocking someone else's shaving cream, this bunch has likely never encountered anything resembling decency in their entire lives. It is a textbook case of "the poor preying on the poor"—seeing someone else simply trying to live with a shred of dignity

one time i saw a guy shaving in the bathroom at work and some other guys passing by started making fun of him because he was using shaving cream

@Ggod323 Depression is nothing more than an expensive indulgence in affectation. Logic, of course, cannot wake a person who is merely pretending to be asleep; you are simply reveling in the "pathological dividends"—the privilege of being coddled by the entire world

You can't logically reason your way out of depression

@axviiixixix Refreshing the page won't change the fact that you're just an internet beggar. Do you really think you're waiting for something new?

ทำไมกุรีเฟรชแล้วยังเห็นแต่โพสต์เดิม ๆ วะ

@ClericKnight I'm dying of laughter—someone on the internet got genuinely emotionally invested in raising a "cyber pet," only to discover that both of its "dads" were actually the same person

I have two oomfs that are the most vocally supportive people ever and I want to put them both in a jar and shake it to see how they interact and then today I accidentally learned they're the same person with two accounts

@SnazzyLabs That $9 isn't paying for protein; it's the barrier that filters out the riffraff around you. Think it's too expensive? The trash can across the street is free

would you like to add protein to your $21 salad for just $9 more

@Tasha1644 No wonder you're stuck at the bottom, scrolling through short videos instead of signing contracts in a high-rise office building.Your brain clearly isn't fully developed—I suggest you go back to the drawing board

English students, what is the difference between everyone and everybody?

@luvblessingz You call that "bullying the boss"? That’s just giving up completely and dragging everyone down with you. No decent person would stoop to playing these kinds of low rent, social suicide games with you.

Y’all be miserable at work because you allow leadership to bully you, but you don’t bully them back. BULLY THEM! 😂 Management hates to see me coming.

@emophringe Stop waxing nostalgic. The only reason things "worked well" back then was that they hadn't yet filtered out "low-end population" types like you and now, they just want you the one who can't afford to pay protection money to get the hell out

this app used to be so good when the block feature worked.. and when drafts worked.. and when the search engine worked.. and when groupchats worked.. and when circles existed.. and when audio tweets existed.. and when premium didn’t exist.. and when it wasn’t overrun with bots...

@JulieLovesFluff This is a textbook case of "infantilizing parenting." You think you’re protecting her? In reality, you are single-handedly destroying her independent identity. She is eleven years old

I took my 11 year old to her checkup this morning and the nurse asked me to step out of the room for a moment. I politely declined and she said, "It's just for a moment." And I told her, "No thank you, given all the stories about children being abused my husband and I decided to never leave our children alone with anyone, even medical providers. Anything you need to do or say you can do with me in the room." She looked all miffed and just left, no idea what her plan was but she didn't feel the need to continue it with me present and that makes me even more suspicious?? When she left my daughter thanked me for not leaving, she's already shy about the doctor, her eyes got so wide when the lady asked me to leave.

@VargasKevi23363 Why slow down? Are you waiting for him to whip up a will for you on the spot? The hundreds of unfortunate people queuing behind you, rushing to catch their flights, will have to wait an extra ten minutes because of your misplaced "empathy

Trabajo en una aerolínea haciendo check-in. Ocho horas de turno, cientos de caras, nadie te mira realmente a los ojos. Ayer se me acercó un señor mayor con una maleta pequeña y me puso el pasaporte encima del mostrador. Cuando abrí su reserva vi que había comprado el tiquete ese mismo día. Solo ida. Le pregunté si tenía equipaje para facturar. Me dijo que no, que lo que cargaba era todo. Algo en su cara me hizo ir más despacio.

@_Rico21 Don't apply your middle-class consumption views to families with many children. For them, children aren't money-shredding machines, but rather a speculative investment in labor. If just one child succeeds, the whole family prospers

How are people with 3-4 kids making it in this economy? This shit crazy every time you turn around it’s $100-$500 lol

@aproko_doctor If this trick really works, then why are the people in chewing gum commercials exhaling instead of licking each other's hands?

Most people check their breath by blowing into their hand. That doesn’t work because the air moves too fast for you to smell anything. The best way to check is to lick the back of your hand. Wait 5 seconds. Then smell it.

@aproko_doctor While your logic is impeccable, this action made me look both perverted and lonely in public. Thank you so much