Hayley Strangelove

@NeilBrocken @fesshole I’m really not. But Friggin’ In The Riggin’ was a song about fellas, why shouldn’t women wank? #wanker. 😘

@HelStrangelove @fesshole Maybe you’re too young to know what Frig means 😈

Whenever we have Sunday morning sex, I ask my husband to run a bath afterwards. That's so while he gets in the bath I can have a wank and finish off properly

@joestilgoe @thehuwedwards Agreed

Huw Edwards has been absolutely brilliant there. Quite the hardest job in broadcasting and from what I saw he did it perfectly. @thehuwedwards

@TomDingleyPhoto @shockproofbeats Where’s Taylor Hawkins?

@shockproofbeats Just bizarre!?! Someone had too much time on their hands

It's tough right now so I'll be taking any and all of the most insane tributes to Her Majesty that you've seen in the wild. I'll start.

@fesshole I’m in a similar position. The amount of events I’ve had to decline because of cost is depressing. I perform at many weddings (muso) & cannot believe what the costs are for couple AND guests!! Ludicrous.

Today, I should've been at my friend's wedding. Instead, I'm sat at home crying, cos I told them I have Covid. I don't. I simply could not afford the £150 petrol, £120 hotel room, £60 drinks tab, £100 gift, £65 outfit, and pay my rent.

@fesshole Can relate

It is mildy irritating that I now choose clothes from my wardrobe based on what will fit rather than what I'd like to wear

@fesshole I did the same thing in Crewe. Still feel guilty when I walk past that photo booth….

Got so drunk in London one night, needed a wee, couldn't find anywhere, had to go in a photo booth in London Bridge train station. 10 years ago and I still think about it when I'm having regretful flashbacks.

@fesshole Well, you’ve told us… and now that’s all I’ll fucking hear when the ad comes in. Cheers! 🙄

When cleaning up after a sex session, my husband and I sing "spunky tissue dot com" in the theme of "funky pigeon dot com". We will never be able to tell anyone.

@fesshole I’ve never been a dog owner, so I can’t begin to imagine how it feels. But they’re not ‘man’s best friend’ for nothing. Deepest condolences my dear xx

I'm a grown man but when by dog died I still went on my evening dog walk. I said it was for exercise but I'd ball my eyes out doing the same walk as normal with her lead, she just wasn't attached to it anymore.

@rainbowsatdawn Where was this?!

Just been accused of being racist 😱because I asked the shopkeeper if he had any black bin bags 🙄ffs. He said I should call them refuse sacks. I said but I don’t want to put refuse in them so isn’t that wrong. He thought I was being obnoxious 🙄

The heat is seeping through my skin - I’m increasingly fuddled as the night goes on…… ##sunburn #addledbrain #bitsorenow instagram.com/p/Cf7P2S7LYMwA…

Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/Cf7ImuRrG4ld…

@fesshole I say tell us who you are - you know we’ll all listen to it again. Fesshole can do for you what Stranger Things did for Kate Bush!

I had a massive hit in the 80s that still gets radio play. I spend all my life talking about it. I hate the bloody song and I hate my life.

SHOULD currently be at Hyde Park awaiting Pearl Jam…… but no - sat at home doing this. Market Hall tonight at 8pm though instagram.com/p/CfzAzqWNM5gG…

@BorisJohnson go! We don’t want you!!!!!

@10DowningStreet just go!!!!!!

@PlugVelvan @fesshole I’m no doctor - just a great bedside manner 😉

I know my girlfriend is cheating on me because she left her emails logged in on my laptop. But I can't confront her because I've been snooping.

@Dominic2306 pretty much like the kid at school who was controlled by the bully then got fked over, so vendetta’d against. You knew who & what he was all along. Your spiteful backlash doesn’t make you one of ‘the people’. Get fucked.

😂😂😂 excellent! y'all seeing why I told Laura K people in no10 were discussing how to remove the insane 🤡 in *Jan 2020* 3 weeks after GE2019 now?!!

⁦@rainbowsatdawn⁩ xxx