Keith Randall

@AliFortescue An apology of an apology

NEW: Zack Polanski apologises ‘Everyone in leadership has a responsibility for lowering the temperature at a time of such tension, and I apologise for sharing a tweet in haste. Police responses to emergency situations such as these do need later reflection in the right forums, but I accept that social media is not the appropriate channel for doing so. I have invited Mark Rowley to meet with me to discuss the police response and the wider issues raised in his letter.’

@who_knows_anon Soaps are 99% unadulterated crap - but that 1% they throw up just once in a while, like this, is right up there with the very best of TV drama.

I don’t watch Eastenders. But whoever wrote, directed and thought of this, they deserve an award. I hope that’s the way we all get to go out. Live is too short.

@3YearLetterman Try a little harder then. Really not difficult.

I literally cannot name one thing that Great Britain does better than America

@NWLondonHammer @tomassoucek28 I've supported WHU for 60 years. I can say in all honesty Tomáš would sit comfortably in my top ten favourite players of that time. This is just one of many reasons.

On a recovery day Tomáš Souček went out to support the West Ham staff running the London Marathon. Got his children to make signs up too. What a player..... ⚒️ ❤️ 💙 @tomassoucek28

@gkxlsi Worst. Take. Ever.

Ka Ying Rising is ridiculous, no doubt… but can we all relax a bit Win streaks in HK sprints ≠ Ascot in June Do it at Royal Ascot under pressure against proper depth and then we can start the “best ever” chat… until then it’s just bullying his own backyard

@GregMulholland1 That's Pete Waterman's ex - from Tight Fit

I can’t be the only person in the country who wouldn’t ever consider getting travel insurance through All Clear simply because of how shit these two are at acting! 😨

@martynware I need therapy now

@Glinner How the mighty have fallen

Green Party broadcast

"Baba, I am invited to @PiersUncensored against someone who says nasty, hateful lies about Islam. What do you advise?" @Malhachimi: "Son, don't just say the facts. Print them on paper and hold them up for everyone to see. Obliterate the lies with the clear, plain truth" "Ok"

@RicHolden @UKLabour

Labour are hiking rail fares by 4.6% as services are still plagued by delays and cancellations @UKLabour are even squeezing railcard users with a 16.6% rise, the 1st increase in over a decade Passengers pay more & get less That’s the deal under Labour independent.co.uk/travel/news-an…

@Gypsypup13 Yes, but only because I eat them with asparagus

Does anyone else wee smell after eating Sugar Puffs 😆

@BWallArthur "Thanks for paying for another holiday, suckers"

I bet they're raking it in from these things. Perpetually angry people being perpetually exploited

"Why aren't boxing rings round?"

@ToppersSnr @BBCParliament What's Statto doing there?

Watching Sir Olly Robbins and @BBCParliament Can anyone tell me who is the perpetual 'Nodding Dog' in the stripped shirt behind Olly Robbins please? Genuinely interested! Has he been politically placed over his left shoulder?

@chameleon7six2 @mattletiss7 @grok The conspiracy theory is not the reality that such things exist, but that the air is RIFE with it. Completely natural contrails being met with suspicion IS the stuff of nutjobs.

I’m not sure why people still shout nutjob, conspiracy when this comes up. It’s well documented that weather modification is vastly in use and has been around for decades. Look up project cumulus/the lynmouth disaster and operation Popeye. A whole raft of countries signed the ENMOD treaty to not use it in warfare. Nowadays it’s used extensively by the likes of China, USA, Russia, UAE and a host of other countries, all on record. Why is it so hard to fathom that the UK could also be using it for some reason?

@Julie42730935 @DaddyCoffee73 @TedUrchin

@KeithRandall10 @DaddyCoffee73 @TedUrchin Typical. Losing the argument so you revert to insults.

I’ve been out all day working. How did Starmer do?

@DaddyCoffee73 @Julie42730935 @TedUrchin Somehow I don't think Julie Multinumbers will be responding.

@Julie42730935 @TedUrchin Show us one lie he told… backed up by proof… we can wait.

@TedUrchin Fair. Probably hoping he can get on with running the country rather than being the pawn in party games suiting Putin very nicely.

Two MPs kicked out of the Chamber for unparliamentary behaviour, purely so they can put a clip on social media for their supporters. Appalling conduct.