TheFather

“Daddy, why is it easier to get into pyjamas than to get dressed?” “......” @PaternityFrat #thatsdeep @parenthoodperks

“Here’s another conversation card - describe what life in the future will be like?” “Snakes.”@PaternityFrat #ToddlerLife #daddaughter

3 year old: “daddy I’m thirsty can I have some champagne?” (Elderflower cordial with zero sugar) “No that’s enough” “BUT ITS MOTHERS DAAAAAY” @PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #ToddlerLife #MothersDay

“No no NOOOOOO LADYBIRDS DONT EAT CHEESE” @PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #ToddlerLife #howtodad

Putting together some IKEA furniture for her. “Darling the sides are lovely, don’t they look like mermaid fins or sea shells?!” “No daddy it looks like a bed.” @PaternityFrat #ToddlerLife #DaddyDaughter #howtodad

Enjoying pancakes for Sunday breakfast as a treat. “Hey darling an eyelash has fallen, if you blow it you can make a wish;and wish for anything you want!” “Yaaaay!” *UHHHH PFFFFFFFFFFF* “Well done what did you wish for?” “More pancakes!!” @PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter

Sitting on the bus together, suddenly, very loudly. “DADDY WHY DOES THAT MAN HAVE NO HAIR?” Everyone turns to look. She points to emphasise. #embarrassing #DaddyDaughter #ToddlerLife @PaternityFrat

“It’s your birthday tomorrow darling what do you want?!” “Someone to slap me in the face.” “...what???!..” @PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #DadLife #toddler

“Stop picking your nose you!” “No daddy it’s a dirty bertie and I can wipe on my jumper” Dad: “what is a dirty bertie?” Mum: “we need to talk to the nursery...” @PaternityFrat #toddler #DaddyDaughter #howtodad

“I love you” “I.. I ..I ..I love the swimming pool”@PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #ToddlerLife #DadLife

“Darling do you need a poo? Come on let’s go to the toilet?” “NO I NOT NEED IT” Eyes lock together as a powerful and suspicious smell arises... #daddaughter #DadLife @PaternityFrat #toddler

Across the magic of FaceTime: “You can see daddy if you put on some trousers and then come over here” “NO TROUSERS! YUK!” @PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #toddler #dadLife #PatFrat

“I’ve told you before STOP TELLING OFF THE CAT AND DON’T GET INVOLVED” “It’s MY CAT DADDY, NOT YOUR ONE.” #DaddyDaughter #toddler #dadLife @PaternityFrat

“Daddy draw something please” “Sure what do you want, a cow, a whale, a pig?” “No, a man picking up a bin.”#dadLife #toddler #daddydaughtertime @PaternityFrat

“What’s going on?” “The squid and the duck are fighting for sweets”@PaternityFrat #DaddyDaughter #ToddlerLife #TheFather

“We’re going on holiday - do you want to ride a pony there?” “NO.” “.....” “a HORSE.” @PaternityFrat #dadlife #toddler #DaddyDaughter

“DO NOT SNATCH THE SPYGLASS BACK FROM THE LITTLE GIRL.” “It’s her turn.”@PaternityFrat #daddyslittlegirl #toddler #DaddyDaughter

Sitting at home eating dinner, looking at the garden. “Daddy, the bamboo..” “what about it darling?” “It’s got monkeys in it.” #monkeys #toddler #howtodad #daddaughter

“Yes fine you can have the mangrove seed.” #ToddlerLife #DaddyDaughter #dadlife #toddler

“If you’re a good girl and brush your teeth you can have a look at your poo.” #toddler #dadjokes #dadlife #potty