GAS

@HollywoodHarris @ReasonHD Break that shit down for us.

@ReasonHD Shit went over they head smh

“The roots remember, even when the trees pretend” - Jay Z

@GermanSimply_ The stau. Always the stau. Learn to love it because your street is closed or under perpetual construction. The speed limit was 120 kilometers and now it’s 60. The red light flashed. Your ticket is in the mail. Your neighbors will notice because they too are in the stau.

Everyone tells you about Germany's efficiency. The punctuality. The engineering. The order. Nobody warns you about the other things. The things you only discover after you've already moved there. 10 of them. Right here. 🧵🇩🇪

@VineOfNorthLDN @richsca19 @david_stewart @grok Amazing.

@richsca19 @david_stewart @grok No you didn't make the mistake on purpose that's why you apologised and said it was autocorrect You keep getting it back to front

Still staggered at this £500,000 question. I’d have been all in on ice puck and shown to be clueless 😟

@MerriamWebster Ostensibly and convenience. Thank God for spell check.

What word is your spelling nemesis? This is a safe space.

@dogmandigital @eurofounder

@eurofounder Nice, what's the EU research think tank researching?

My wife has recently inherited €400k from her aunt "Oh my god, this is so amazing!" she screamed "We could invest in S&P 500, and then couple weeks in Hawaii, just us?" she winked at me I felt my blood boiling, but composed myself "Sure baby, it's a good idea, have a drink now" She fell asleep on the couch by 10pm I opened the laptop and logged into her bank account I made following wire transfers: €250k to our local government €100k to a Muslim refugee integration NGO in Bremen €49k to a EU research think tank researching The remaining €1k I transferred to my personal account In the morning she asked about the money "I invested it into Europe baby, and we will benefit from it greatly" She began shaking, and I just hugged her dearly It feels so great to provide for a woman I love

@camerobradford That’s the bit.

"Focker' sounds a liiiittle too close to another word I will not mention. Definitely will be interested to see how they navigate this, seeing as how it appears to be one of the character's names.

@The_dirty3rd @RpsAgainstTrump You need to be registered in selective service to enlist or commission. The recruiter will help you do it if you’re already 18 - 25. But you cannot legally get out by serving.

@RpsAgainstTrump All males are enrolled in the draft at 18. It’s been like that for a while. Long before Trump was president. The only way to legally get out of it is to voluntarily serve in the military

BREAKING: Men 18–25 will be automatically registered for the U.S. military draft starting December 2026.

@BallerStatusCat @alt_w_v_g Can you quantify that?

@alt_w_v_g Bro, you are the worst. Seek help.

The follow-up parent/teacher conference was yesterday My wife went alone I watched her pull out of the driveway Then I called my analyst He was already in his car Parked in the alley Engine running I wore cargo shorts Six pockets Pocket three had the school handbook Pocket five had a highlighter We arrived at 3:42pm Three minutes early My wife saw my analyst in the hallway before she saw me She stopped walking Then she saw me She said "why is he here" I said "support" She said "for what" I said "the meeting" She said "this is a parent-teacher conference and you aren't supposed to be here" I said "every meeting is a negotiation" She didn't move I held the door The teacher was waiting She was not alone The principal was seated beside her Arms folded They brought backup So did I My analyst sat down and opened his laptop He asked for the WiFi password The teacher said "we don't give that to visitors" He said "no problem" and turned on his hotspot I taught him well My wife put her head in her hands The principal introduced himself Firm handshake Said he wanted to "make sure we're all on the same page" I said "I love alignment" My wife looked at the ceiling The teacher pulled out a folder Same color-coded tabs as last time I respected the consistency She said our son has made "some improvements" but there are still "areas of concern" I said "can you quantify that" She said "it's not really a numbers-based assessment" I looked at my analyst He looked at me We didn't say anything The teacher said he still "challenges classroom structure" I pulled the school handbook from pocket three Page 34 Section 2.7 Parent Rights and Student Evaluation Standards I had highlighted six lines The principal looked at the handbook Then looked at my cargo shorts Then back at the handbook The teacher said there was an incident with a multiple-choice question She pulled out the test I pulled my copy from pocket two The teacher stopped talking My wife closed her eyes The question listed fifteen gender options My son selected none of them He wrote "Not applicable" Below that he wrote "Identified: Chromosome XY" Below that he wrote "Source: Biology textbook, page 217" With a footnote My wife looked at me She said "oh my god he's becoming you" I said "thank you" She said "that wasn't a compliment" The teacher said "that's not how multiple choice works" I said "was his answer correct" She paused The teacher looked at the ceiling Why does everyone keep doing that The principal stepped in He said "the concern isn't accuracy. It's compliance." I said "interesting. My auditors say the same thing." My analyst typed something I didn't ask what My wife looked at the ceiling again The principal said he thinks our son would "benefit from learning to work within established frameworks" I said "he will. And then he'll spend his career fixing them." Nobody spoke The teacher closed her folder The principal didn't shake my hand My analyst asked if there would be a follow-up The teacher said "I hope not" In the parking lot my wife said "you wore cargo shorts to a school meeting that you weren't invited to" I said "I needed the pockets" She didn't argue She said "we need to talk about this at couples therapy" I said "only if I can bring my analyst" She got in her car My analyst sent me his notes before I got to mine Formatted Bulleted With action items There were none Except for Plz Fix. Thx. Sent from my iPhone

@500Casino @RealEmirHan Mans would kill 99.9% of men on this app. You included. He has the right to yap about fighting for a living.

@RealEmirHan Broski hasn't fought for a living since 2016 what is he yapping about

In Road House (2024), Jake Gyllenhaal said Connor McGregor “clocked me in the face by mistake.” McGregor said “it wasn’t fake fighting.” “As a man who fights for a living, it was real. I gave him wallop, he gave me back. Stuntmen took some big shots also.”x.com/CinemaLover189…

@Matt_Pinner Soccer. Bowling. Tennis. Golf.

This is hard

@mohitlaws @MrGee54 Lolz.

Trump has only five options: • Accept defeat and leave Iran. • Launch a ground invasion & watch Iran slaughter US troops like chickens. • Use nukes which will trigger a world war and kill billions. • Share the coordinates of Netanyahu with Iran. • Resign or Impeached

@OutGrowGreed @Mr_Husky1 Both fake.

@Mr_Husky1 If we didn’t know why, we weren’t paying attention. A large number of scientists, epidemiologists and infectious disease specialists had been screaming at the top of their lungs for weeks about the forming pandemic. Kind like the climate scientists have been for years now…

6 years ago today, we were told to take our laptops home for no reason. Friday March 13th, at 11:30am, we received an email telling us why.

@kevinblue345 Fucking clown show. The CMC and the Admiral initiated the salute to SecDef. Both of them in unison. The SedDef returned the salute. To both. They rendered appropriate greetings as a Command Team and SecDef is now being received individually. Shits not complicated.

Historically white U.S. soldiers frequently refused to salute Black officers U.S Secretary of War Pete Hegseth saluted all of the white soldiers exept the black soldier. Failing to salute an officer based on race is a serious violation of military protocal that lead to discipline

@IQTestBrain I tried.

@Ratione_Aut_Vi Nooo

SOLVE this

@SpencerHakimian Somalia. Pirates.

This is probably a stupid question but can someone explain it to me like I’m 5. If Iran blocks off the Persian Gulf/Strait of Hormuz, why can’t countries must move their oil through The Red Sea/Gulf of Aden?

@gramps_part2 @nakedjockman @MrPitbull07 You mean your job description? None of that is extra - it’s factored in to operating costs. I tip handsomely when the server makes my experience feel like an experience. If not, you’re doing your job. If it were compulsory it would be an itemized line item.

@nakedjockman @MrPitbull07 I’m a server. If I didn’t have to kiss your butt for tips, what do expect your service to be like? I’d walk up, say “what do you want?” And you would never see me again. Extra sauces, fresh plates, new napkins, drink refills, clearing and cleaning your table; all gone.

I paid a $169.29 breakfast bill and left the tip at $0. Not because I didn’t notice the line — but because tipping, for me, is still a personal choice, not a fixed charge. The meal itself was fully paid for. The prices were set, the tax was added, and the total was clear. Covering that bill already supports the restaurant, its staff, and its operations. That part of the transaction was complete. What made this moment uncomfortable wasn’t the math — it was the pressure that followed. Tipping used to be a way to say “thank you” when service stood out. Somewhere along the way, it shifted into an expectation that can feel detached from the actual experience. Everyone comes in with different circumstances, different standards, and different limits. Respecting that choice — whatever the number — is part of keeping trust between customers and businesses. When that respect slips, so does the desire to come back. Credit: Lena Anderson via FB

@_zabiiii 22. Yay!

99.9% people failed this logic Riddle Can you beat them in 10 seconds?🤔

@gotrice2024 Bike clown. Should’ve known.

This man went to his local Home Depot to purchase items for a home project. He arrived in a bike and didn’t have the means to take all of the materials home. He sees a wagon and decides he needs it to take his items home. He opens the box and starts to put it together before he even pays for it. I don’t know any place that would allow this to happen without buying it first. Was this customer being self entitled, what happens if he gets it together and he doesn’t like it?

@VinnysCorner1 The Olajuwon disrespect with the Giannis face. But Shaq is the only right answer.

Give me Jokic, Who you got???