such a heather.

“I say if love is anything, it is everything.” -Christopher Poindexter ❤️💋

capri sun packages were designed to teach kids how to do emergency tracheotomies.

it's ok to embarrass yourself in pursuit of human connection btw

RIP Noah from the Bible, you would have loved catching every Pokémon

We were absolutely floored by the millions of you that watched us make silly water sillouettes on our driveway last summer. We are starting out the summer the only way we know how, and this time it’s all about movies! What else do you want to see? We have a whole summer ahead, a driveway and a hose. The possibilities are endless!!!

Millennial here but yeah. Started at age 8 because I am the oldest of more than 30 cousins. 🙃

Yeah, well we painted our reflecting pool.

foundational text

Hahaha no you won't

@DaniDeMarco @suchnerve @AfroSon13 @OlibuFJF My friends and I have talked about how this is truly an issue with these men. They think “I have a big dick so I can’t be bad at sex.” Well, you have NO idea how to use it so yeah…you sucked. 🥱

@suchnerve @AfroSon13 @OlibuFJF I made the mistake of not telling the dude to leave in my similar situation, it was the worst sex I ever had lmao he had no idea what to do with it and it was too big to be fully hard 🫣

I keep saying this

@CommiesSuck1007 @Ebbie228228 @CameronCorduroy Those who weren’t at the concentration camps of Nazi Germany are far less likely to have accurate or credible opinions on the comparisons, moron. 🙄 My god, you people really are unbelievably stupid.

@SuchAHeather @Ebbie228228 @CameronCorduroy aCtUaL sUrViVoRs Of ThE hOlOcAuSt who’ve never been to these facilities say it’s a 1:1 match 🤣🤣🤣 Retard

they've built concentration camps and i'm expected to act like it's a mere difference of political opinion

Renewing my hot dog membership (Costco)

@Prezain_LJ even sexier. If you love your partner, you care about turning them on & keeping it spicy so you consider their likes in some way as much as possible. Loves boots? Wear them. Preferred cut/style? Get it. Foot fetish? Go for pedis. It’s so easy but people can be sooo selfish. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Prezain_LJ When my bf 1st asked if he could buy me clothing he liked I was a little meh but what he bought me changed my overall sense of style & boosted confidence bc of how I felt in it. I ❤️ that he’s ALSO cool w/me wearing whatever. He always finds me sexy, AND has some things he finds

For someone like me who loves G-strings and lace panties and prefers sex with panties being shifted to the side rather than removing them completely all the time, the moment we start dating, the first gift I always give is buying you a set of lingerie. Aside from fixing nails, lingerie is one of my favorite non-sexual things on a woman. No matter how many you own, I would always buy more, because I have the ones I love and would want you to wear them anytime you are with me.

Aposematism is there to warn off predators, not sexual partners. If you’re repelled by it, it’s working.

Toronto @BlueJays for the win

🚨BREAKING: In a Chicago suburb, a U.S. citizen was observing an adult man in a black ski mask, who she believed was an ICE agent, driving around a HIGH SCHOOL… …and police pulled HER over. Not the MASKED MAN driving around the Schaumburg high school… The officer told her she was being detained for “stalking.” Even though, when she asked who she was allegedly stalking… the cop admitted he didn’t even know yet, and would “find out in just a moment.” So, just to clarify… The cop hadn’t confirmed who the MASKED MAN was. He hadn’t determined whether he was a federal agent, or why he was driving around a HIGH SCHOOL in a SKI MASK. But the cop had already decided the woman, OBSERVING THE MASKED MAN, was the problem. Americans have a First Amendment right to observe what government officials are doing in public. If this was a federal agent… documenting their activity isn’t a crime. It’s accountability. And if it wasn’t a federal agent… most people would expect the police to be concerned about a MASKED MAN driving around a HIGH SCHOOL. Not the woman observing him. In a country where school shootings are a real and constant threat to students… that’s the bare minimum our law enforcement should be doing. But when she asked why a MASK MAN, driving around a HIGH SCHOOL, didn’t concern him, the officer said: “Everyone wears masks nowadays.” So, if someone can be detained for peacefully observing, what they reasonably believe is government activity… While police focus more on the observer than the MASKED MAN around a HIGH SCHOOL… Then we have some serious questions that need to be asked… @GovPritzker

@tvwriter @creja34 Love this wording. Perfectly said!

@creja34 And it's not because they are afraid you'll leave, but because after all that time they still feel compelled to say it. To be chosen once is flattering. To be chosen repeatedly is extraordinary.

Imagine getting a kiss every night and told, "I love you"

TSA agents will act like you’re the dumbest person alive for doing what the last TSA agent asked you to do