Anonymous source
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Anonymous source
@TJCJunior
Son of 2 USMC Captains, former Fed LEO. Roman Catholic. Aspiring Napper. Raconteur. No Nigerians. NO DM’s. NO DM’s. no dm’s
Walking Dead, GA. Beigetreten Ağustos 2012
2.7K Folgt1.9K Follower
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A young Irish girl goes to confession...
And says, “Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
The priest replies, “Go ahead, my child.”
“Well”, she says, “Last night I made love to me boyfriend... FIVE TIMES! And it was GLORIOUS, Father. He made me tingle all over, and I swear it was as though I was seein’ the stars in my passion. And, I think I may have wailed like a banshee. More than once. And me legs was all wibbly wobbly, even the next mornin’. But, I know that makin’ love to me boyfriend before marriage is a sin, and I’ve come seekin’ absolution.
The priest sits back, rubs his forehead, and looks at the young lass and says, “Right. What I need for you to do is go down to Mr. O’Malley’s market and get four good sized lemons. Go home, cut them in half, and squeeze the juice into a nice tall glass and drink in down straight away.”
The girl looks at the priest with a confused look and asks, “ Will that absolve me of me sin, Father?”
“NO, but it’ll wipe the smile off yer face!”
English
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A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36 Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24."
🤣🤣
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Cool! I wanna fly this approach!
Turbine Traveller@Turbinetraveler
Airbus A319 landing at Paro International Airport, known for being one of the most challenging airports in the world for landing, due to proximity of steep Himalayan mountains and narrow valleys, very short visual approach distance, no radar assistance, and short runway.
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Englishman: "That's your dog?"
Welshman: "Aye"
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?'
Welshman: "Dog doesn't talk.”
Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doing all right."
Welshman: (look of shock)
Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep."
Englishman: How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play."
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Welshman: "Horse doesn't talk.”
Englishman: "Hey, horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Welshman)
Horse: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather."
Welshman: (Look of total amazement!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Welshman: "That sheep's a f00king liar!!”
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