Andy Ritchie

@brendonwalsh I had to double check who's account this is!

It takes more muscles to frown than to smile so all you happy people are just being lazy.

Trying to lose enough weight to where I feel comfortable being in public with my shirt on.

Good Luck Show 4th Anniversary is tonight! W/ @ChuckWatkinsEsq @DougMellard @ronbabcock @_AndyRitchie & more!

@RobertBuscemi Thanks! They laughed when I said I'm on your tab (jealous much?) Next round on me!

#FF @MarkAgee @joshgondelman @ssamanthaa @MikeMacRaeMike @captdope @Charlie_Sanders #SOLID

An elderly German man just asked me what "race" my dog is, I said Aryan just to be on the safe side

Newly released audio from the Ray Rice elevator tape reveals Janay pledging her allegiance to ISIS #ZeroToHero

oh i'm not nice i'm just scared

The @Fleshlight is a brilliant modern day take on Edison's Electric Fuck Lantern.

heyLA @PerformAnxiety 8pm tonight @nottjmiller @EliOlsberg @Middleditch @iliza @aliwong3000 @BillyWayneDavis @_AndyRitchie @daveanthony

People will be REALLY upset when they see the footage of Ray Rice continuing to gamble while propping his wife up Weekend at Bernie's style.

@captdope @atmosphere @rhymesayers @thepalladium @Charlie_Sanders Can't wait!

Soon she'll have the face she always wanted. #RIP

What disease did we do planking for again?

@seanoconnz Vicious militants so nice they named em twice

Wait, trouser snakes are just our penises? Huge relief, now I can stop tying off my cuffs with rubber bands.

TONIGHT! Chatterbox Comedy! @elliemce, @TamerKattan, @remainchampagne, @_AndyRitchie, @leahkayjay, @SeatonSmith ! facebook.com/events/1535056…

I prefer banana Now and Laters to real bananas, which are like Now or Nevers

A comedy club is not a therapist's office. If you come to my show to get your mind off your abortion, you came to the wrong place.