Tori Fletcher

A girl on TikTok just said she is wearing her aunts vintage top from the early 2000’s and I’m dead.

Is this the same NFL that black listed Colin Kaepernick for taking a knee? #SuperBowl #Kendrick

Being 43 is thinking you’re soooooo smart but also realizing that you could actually be totally stupid. Life comes at you fast, kids!

i do think it's interesting that i rarely if ever see a super attractive man with an unattractive (or even mid!) woman but i frequently see the reverse, hard to believe that women have an inflated view of their own hotness

"men just don't care about those things" and it's just a list of all of the little things that weave together the social fabric of society, and then we wonder out loud why men are lonely.

Just tried to double tap a real life book because I liked what I read and the robots have won.

This year I don’t want to sit at the adult table or the kids table. I want to sit on the floor with the pets.

How many calories in 6 mini bags of gummy bears leftover from Halloween? Asking for a friend.

I feel like I’m mentally shutting down and also coming back to life at the same time and it’s weird.

Today I'm going to give it my almost

when i say "i've never been better" i don't mean i'm doing great. i mean i have never recovered

@_chase_____ And also a car.

watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would is one of life’s greatest challenges

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you

I accidentally told my boss I loved him while getting off the phone so if anyone needs me I’ll be walking directly into the ocean.

@OneNerdyOpinion This is my cat with McDonald’s. If she even smells it it’s over, but she has never had it as far as I know.

Why is Dandy 100% convinced she is going to like Baja Blast? She comes running every time I open mine to take a drink. As far as I know she has never had one, but she seems pretty certain that it’s her preferred beverage.

@FORMERLYaeduko @OneNerdyOpinion I love it.

@hellotorifletch @OneNerdyOpinion Same. And a dm I've got going with 2 people

Tonight is my first double since Dandy has been free roaming. Just got back from feeding them so here’s an update. Both kiddos were on the bed when I came in, Spike in his normal spot and Dandy about 3 feet away. Here’s a video of Dandy telling me how to make her food again.

We all have that one mug that turns into absolute molten lava in the microwave.

@emilykmay Same. It’s insane.

i live in a state that requires you to be separated for a year before you can file for divorce, which is weird because i don't remember them requiring me to live with someone for a year before i married them.

@thisone0verhere There used to be a place in NYC called Hale & Hearty that was basically this and it was fantastic.

I need one of those breweries with like a hundred things on tap but for different kinds of soup. A stewery if you will