Jay Farnham

@Super70sSports It wasn’t my jam. I think I preferred silence, given the choice.

When I was a kid this literally translated to “Change the channel immediately.”

@Bigqadi These Christofacist dickbags can go straight to hell. Humans cannot engineer the “end times”.

Well then, fuck you and your wife.

@octopuscaveman That’s some quick thinkin’, Octo!

There’s a whole high school football team in my hotel being loud assholes so I told their chaperone I saw some kids smoking weed by the dumpsters. Now there’s like 40 kids in the parking lot doing push-ups at 10pm

@jonfavs If they really believe, they should die, too.

One day, Donald Trump will die, and his supporters will try to punish the people who say things like this.

@octopuscaveman I’d be psyched if the richest man in the world communicated with standard accepted English. Dick.

Walking into a Chevy dealership and ordering a steak and when they say they don’t have steak i say “fine. Make it 2 steaks then” because I’m so based. I just keep increasing the number of steaks until they escort me off of the premises.

@Matt_Pinner Deserving.

What do you call someone who does this 😳

@GaryPetersonUSA Where has that carrot been?

The left could never herd cattle while serving as a small town sheriff, which is why they hate heroes of Straightriotism like John Wayne and President Trump

@ozskier @TellurideGaySki Even the snow is bony.

Greetings from @TellurideGaySki week! It’s a bone zone here, and there’s also no snow. 😉

@octopuscaveman What about “Bowel Movement” you know, because diarrhea.

I got this tattoo for my first grindcore band Bearded Mary. When you go to jail they ask you what your tattoos mean to determine gang affiliation. I said “that stands for Bette Midler because she’s the wind beneath my wings.” No further questions were asked.

@SteveSchmidtSES Gold-plated asshole.

Lindsey Graham was John McCain’s sidekick. He made John laugh. He made everyone laugh, but there is nothing to laugh at anymore.

@chrissteinplays Was it Fred? Was he the scammer? I love it that you know each other!!

I'm pleased and amused to report that I'VE GOT MY FCKING ACCOUNT BACK! The scam crypto death cult that'd taken over sent out DMs asking for some crap and I'm sorry if any of you got one I also subscribed so I could use 2factor Thanks for your patience, I only lost a few followers

@Wendy00271 @allenanalysis If his stupid parents had “Plan B”, we wouldn’t be here right now.

@allenanalysis It’s not over and I doubt your take on his response. He already had a plan b

🚨 BREAKING: CNN reports Trump learned the Supreme Court struck down his tariffs during a breakfast with governors — and immediately had a full-blown meltdown. That’s what happens when your illegal power grab collapses in real time.

@Hot_Pepper76 Wardrobe MalFunkShun

Pretty sure this was before this band hired a marketing manager. Name the band. 😂

@octopuscaveman Nah, he’s actually that stupid. No lie there.

Then one night i see a trans truck online It turns me on but like what does that mean about me I start being very anti trans truck because I’m insecure now it’s pretty much the only porn i watch But this whole right wing thing is my schtick So basically I have to live a lie

i just wanna drive my truck Date my truck Kiss my truck Fuck my truck Get my truck pregnant Get a discreet abortion for my truck Continue to be publicly very anti truck abortion because I’ve made it a really big deal and I might lose fans if they found out…

@octopuscaveman This guy seemed intellectually challenged. His songwriting needs work.

@amandacvance For some reason, people need to announce that they watched the TP shitshow. Not a normal thing to do. Just watch it.

Watching the American halftime performance at the Super Bowl instead of Bad Bunny

@hwinkler4real Moe.

Physics

@realMaalouf At least he avoided modern dentistry!

Islamic scholar explains that modern inventions are considered forbidden innovations (bid'ah) in Islam because they didn’t exist at Muhammad’s time. No electricity, no cars, no planes. Yet he still uses a phone and the internet to spread his message. Stupidity knows no bounds.

@octopuscaveman It should read “avoid this man at all costs”.

The cover for Billy Joel’s single Tell Her About It looks like it’s from an ad campaign about informing your partners you have an STD

@_KeepRockAlive_ I can’t find an image, but I had a poster from Spencer Gifts in the mall that was a noose with the caption “Goodbye and Thanks!”