$4 plastic skeleton

says ‘im pickle rick’ in the borat voice and my pineal gland instantly releases a lethal dose of DMT

*talking to sharks at shark tank* it’s called Kratom. It’s not pills, it’s dirt. And you can buy it at the vape store. Take three that’s an adderall. Take 15 *pause for dramatic effect* that’s a perky brothers and sisters Mark Cuban: what does it taste like ? Me: Dog Ashes

@Tetradugenikid fig newtons should give rap sponsorships to increase their salience among the youth like the migos potato chips

I was talking to my neighbor and his son, and his son told me he beats kids up at school and takes their fig newtons. He had a whole story, and his dad was looking at me like "he's making all this up." It was really entertaining. We need more storytelling like that in media

OH MY GOD I FOUND IT

tucker carlson voice: and in the latest news, the man from mars is eating bars. whose fault is this? who should we blame?

uhh….. ionno…..

@spacebar23 watches

@pissvortex Rollies?

If I was a red army soldier and I just slaughtered the armies of Baal i would also snatch a couple rollies off some dead chuds tbh #Yoink #FindersKeepers

According to Likud run health services, Israel was reportedly struck by a missile, allegedly from Iran. No word yet on whether the civilians there denounce Bibi. Before you condemn, remember Iran gives advance warnings and was trying to strike terrorist tunnels

@allmy2dads and yet camp is still panned…

white people really love the sinners score

Rough Estimate has it that ~78,000,000,000 gallons of water has fallen on Oahu in the last 24 hours, thats almost enough to fill your mom's bathtub.

@tragickly beautiful claws lyris

beer #2

@jard_sard you have to click on the giant “instagram” logo at the top of your feed and there will be a “following” tab

@opensourceq wow i had no idea

like twitter is bad but instagram is fucking terrible. What do you mean you have to be following someone to mute them? At least here you have the option to only see people you follow in chronological order with no "suggested posts".

@gmoult their website says founded 1914, which seems plausible for a construction date

couldn’t find the architect or year built

orthodox triple decker st. john the divine orthodox church, monessen, pa

Mr. Lincoln, sir, do you believe the confederate states of america have the right to exist as a White confederation of states?

@tragickly oomfie gold mine

no more commune with my friends dreams. we are all getting jobs on the same offshore oil rig.

@Tetradugenikid “carlotta valdez clears flagpole sitta”

Your average middle aged man is simply walking around waiting and hoping for the chance to tell you that many one hit wonders were talented musicians and songwriters who simply met poor circumstances. And he's right to do this.

Checking out various ex girlfriends residences on Microsoft Flight Simulator #RestrictedAirspace

@CyberVillainess looked this up and that guy was the musical director of barney

how it must have felt to be the guy who first wrote "the ants go marching one by one"