Rose

@ashure First Wednesday day of the month at 1pm if you want to experience the thrill in Minneapolis!

i know i've already said this but the 10 a.m. first tuesday of the month Chicago emergency siren test is one of my favorite things, what a treat!!!

@_csur Also high stakes

Name a harder core stability workout than standing in the middle of a packed el car without a grab bar in reach

@ashure @PopUltimate Can't picture a better way to get hype!

ily @PopUltimate and @rgruenhagen 💪💕💕

@adamswright @JackRabuck @ATabarrok I prefer a juice box

@JackRabuck @ATabarrok Distract them with a little song and then give them a lollipop youtu.be/6m-9itperOw

Cc: @ATabarrok

@_csur Bruns apparently does this. At first I thought he just forgot to make the egg and it was just abandoned on the counter.

Have you been looking for an incredibly detailed set of instructions on how to create the so-perfect-you-could-top-your-fancy-ramen-with-it soft-boiled egg? Then look no further! I've tried a dozen different ways and I HAVE THE GOLDEN RECIPE.

@_csur I needed to hear this

Idk who needs to hear this but... 🗣️ RINSE YOUR RICE. Then rinse it again. And another 2-3 times after that.

@_csur My dad would also sample the grapes which I found to be mortifying

10yo me: dad stop knocking on the watermelons you're embarrassing me 27 yo me: *laying across a dozen watermelons to tap on the ones in the back row* I get it now, dad!!

These motherfuckers went from “wearing a mask is tyranny” to “the government can shoot anyone on the street at night” pretty fucking quick.

@_csur @annaVthorn Why fold at all?

@annaVthorn Ty for posting a blurry photo of my underwear on the internet 🤦‍♀️

your team does zoom workouts; my team does mid-morning underwear folding tutorials 🤷🏻‍♀️

@kalcium_31 And here I thought you finally tagging me in something!

I love getting hacked ...so much.

@scregsandeggs Don't cave now!

I had a stressful dream that someone was insulting my extremely overgrown eyebrows so maybe it’s time to finally take my tweezers out of quarantine 🤔...

Day 34 and I still haven't learned how to spell quarantine without Google's help

@meredyoung Thank you for your service

Gonna build the Tiger King zoo on Zoo Tycoon. Might also see if I can help the authorities by seeing what happens if somebody who makes me mad happens to get eaten by a tiger in there. #TigerKingNetflix

@ashure @PremierUltimate @MinnesotaStrike 💙💙💙 An honor. Guaranteed to fit everyone

Proud to sponsor my favorite @PremierUltimate player with my best friends/rookie class (going on 11 years of friendship💜) - can't wait to rep you @rgruenhagen and sisterhood-of-the-traveling-pants your jersey across the country! @MinnesotaStrike

@ashure Did it work?

Would recommend finding a sigO who knows to text you "Pack!" when you're leaving tomorrow morning and you've had all day to pack but instead you're painting your nails and definitely not packing

@allabtarie @bizmylescook important content

@meredyoung This is actually terrifying

My parents cannot and will not be stopped.

Please enjoy this email I just received from my dad.

@scregsandeggs Kevin gets out the tin foil hat when I say things like that but I don't let it stop me. I probably need that hat!

I really need new casual boots for winter so I figure if I just start talking about it near my phone then I’ll get all the insta ads for boots that I could ever want

@ashure A highlight of my college experience

I learned this in college and everyone was really mean about it