Tim

@BrandonDonkey2 Odd that this happened in Florida 👀

She has diplomatic immunity!

@JindeWolf Is she Latina? I think I’m married to her sister.

Reminds me of a prior relationship... 🥲

@AnnaDsays Wow. So what does that make us fellas who watched as well?

Getting called a cunt because I had the misfortune of watching Challenger blow up wasn’t on my bingo card for today but here we are

@Nobunny333 Monsters

Who are my ‘ketchup on mac and cheese people’? 🤪

@ncorreyna @elonmusk

@elonmusk What about a clit rocket? When you flick it the rocket moves

Inspiring new merch idea: rocket pocket underpants! 🚀 🩳 Underpants with a handy pocket for your rocket, which contains a real scale model rocket with an easy pull out ability. Guaranteed to be a hit at parties!

@Thora_Strong1 Whoa 😍

2014 version of me attempting a fitness photo shoot…

@DieselBABE20 Diesel Babe response: “Ok, why don’t you walk over the the Coke Machine and grab a can of “go fuck yourself”. Here’s $2, my treat”

Customer- “ I need my car back immediately. I can’t sit. I’m in a rush. I’m losing money. Please bump somebody, make me a priority bump other people if you have to” US- “OK Mr. customer will do the best we can.” Also us - “here’s your estimate Mr. customer. please let us know immediately how you’d like to proceed.” Hours go by and 🦗 . I swear I can’t handle some people. Honestly, most people these days lol

@mistrustme1 #smokeshow 💪🏾

Arm today and not my favorite day but it’s done

💯😌

@ncorreyna 9 times out of 10, yes.

You ever tweet something and say God damn...whats wrong with me? No? Just me? Cool cool cool.

@ConservativeGG3 They’re not sagging until they’re in your socks 😉

Working my chest at the gym because I’m WAY too young to be saggin’ and draggin’ 😂 I’d also like to mention: I did 100 push-ups and that was THE WARM-UP! 😉💪🏼🖤 #GymMom #HotMom #NoExcuses

@ForestMommy ❤️

Gm

@itsbighonkin No shit.

I went to a baseball game and bought a hotdog, pretzel, nachos and a funnel cake I will never financially recover

@MickeyBlowtorch @kimmie_c_ #legend

@kimmie_c_ That’s why I just send taint

*taps sign*

😌

@MickeyBlowtorch When she talks at me in Spanish I feel like she’s yelling 😂

@timjmc72 Hahaha saaaaame

Decided to check out the TV show “The Bear.” If you enjoy watching people chaotically yell at each other for 30 minutes at a time, you might like it.

@BernadettePro17 ❤️❤️❤️

😉😜

@mistrustme1 Preach it Girl 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

I would mainline coffee if it was feasible

@DieselBABE20 😬

@timjmc72 Got the tip then haha

Own a shop, they said. It will be fun, they said. Oversize bay doors will break and collapse they said. Order a new one, they said. Takes 4-6 weeks to build and costs 10k, they said FML 🤦‍♀️ I SAID 😂