kris 🍄❤️

I'm old enough to give advice to my current self.

Slipping downward

People with ocd or sensory issues will get it.

@ms5unshine As long as they aren't the toe nail scissors.

Spooning to recharge

I thought rabbits laid eggs. Come to find out they don’t lay eggs where the fuck am I. Feels like the twilight zone

This little baby is just 2 days old and 9% illuminated.

Beautiful sunset

Tonight I’m hosting one of those murder mystery dinners but at this one every guest will be murdered immediately upon arrival so they have to spend the whole night dead then go home.

Found another ive been softblocked from, im ending it all

Within the limits of what a person can endure would be a cool band name

Let me beatbox on your vaginal jukebox

thinking of you happy & shining in the sun

if you catch me smiling at my phone, i'm the funny one not them

“Touch Grass” is the new “Go play in traffic”.

Omg look what my brother gave me for my birthday. Epic. My collection of bird pins grows and grows…

twitter is like having an evil diary that talks back to you

I love quitting, unless it’s a substance.

they need to make a praying mantis emoji

the art of noticing the magic

cool animal tracks from today