thats so raymond

I’m in love with the coco.

@CarrotcakeKyle Do the same thing with flossing a week before I see the dentist. These dumbass “doctors” think I’m doing great with my oral care. Fucking quacks

Always put fresh pads on before going to the tire shop just to make em sweat a lil, like "how'd my breaks look btw?"

I gave up the boobies for lent… resisted temptation

Buying toilet paper in 4 packs so the cute cashier doesn’t realize how much I shit I’ve had to go back every other day to get more toilet paper I shit so fucking much guys

Limitless sequel about a pill that lets you use 100% of your wiener

That pussy was umami

@thatsojaden2 @PlayaJared Martin had a dream, but he NEEDED a Newport

@PlayaJared @ChicFilRay They will not take @ChicFilRay newports from him

I’m going to be in Olympia to protest this nicotine tax. I’m gonna be our versions of Rosa park. This fascist regime will not take what was promised to me 3000 years ago @ChicFilRay

@CarrotcakeKyle Get some newports

Officially starting smoking cigs tomorrow. Never had one before so I'm pretty excited. Gonna start with a pack a day and see how that feels, go from there

Eating pizza with jalapeños on it while my wife gives birth and I feel like she’s almost in as much pain as I am 😮‍💨😮‍💨

@PlayaJared Was your top track Wheels on the Bus?

🍼

@PlayaJared *houselessness 😌

Hobo Johnson 👎 Johnson Experiencing Homelessness 👍

My opps got in my bubble, best believe we gon have trouble

@CarrotcakeKyle Happened to me once. My ass had to get EUTHANIZED

Took the gnarliest shit at the bar, felt like my asshole had trench foot

Think about DAT shit

If only Zohran and Cheney could put there differences aside 😔 I think they would’ve been best friends 😥 but now? Now one’s dead 💀 while the other chased clout 🤑 were they really so different? 🤔 heh… life really does move fast 🏁 text the ones you love ❤️ before they’re gone

@_anupa this shit took me forever

Xi Jin on my ping til we reach a trade deal

Everytime u use AI a black man gets shot in his shit in Chicago #CancelAI