Kelly Collette

I love when you hand a dog a treat and they are like, thanks, I'll be having this in the other room. Excuse me.

I don’t care what yall bishes are fighting about can I have healthcare please

I’ve created an OF account for my top fans to sit in on my writing sessions and behind the scenes of comedy. My special is being taped in Chicago on Monday! Please come out :)

@A_holeArmy @nottjmiller @RMGJLR Thank you!

@nottjmiller and @KellyCollette should be on @RovRadio more often. They were great and T.J. was very graceful dealing with captain content @RMGJLR

@elonmusk trying to find a statement from you and your mouth saying it wasn’t a Hitler salute. Only you know your intentions. Right?

@AmericanAir They won’t answer their phone or call me

@KellyCollette Once the team has a chance to close out your file they'll reach out to you directly.

@AmericanAir How many people are on the team?

@AmericanAir Why can’t I call the baggage services or lost and found?

@AmericanAir can you dm me back please ?

@earth_pd @AmericanAir Same I know exactly where my item was lost and they are like don’t call us we will call you

Love that I can’t get an actual person on the phone @AmericanAir about my missing wallet that has my id and all my methods of payment. So fun and cool 😭

@KellyCollette We see two reports have been filed for your missing bag. When there's a match, our Chargerback team will reach out to you directly.

@AmericanAir But when I messaged lost and found from airplanes they say they don’t do bags

@AmericanAir no one is responding to me for my request for a real # for American Airlines in Miami

@AmericanAir No one is answering my dm

@KellyCollette Meet us in DM with your baggage info, and we'll review things for you.

@AmericanAir no one will contact me about my missing bag

@AmericanAir my backpack was left on a flight last night and the cleaning staff didn’t find it (it was under the seat) so the plane flew back to Miami and I’m hoping that crew found it, but no one will give me their CORRECT # I emailed aa lost and found

@AmericanAir You gave me a non working #

@KellyCollette Feel free to join us over in DMs, we'll be happy to share that number with you.

@AmericanAir can I please have the # for baggage department at Miami airport? It’s impossible to find and I’m in another city so I can’t do the recommend “go to the desk” and no one at customer service will help me contact them about my missing bag. And yes I filed a lost ticket.

Be considerate today. Remember, if your dogs are afraid of fireworks, take them inside, to my house. Please. Bring me dogs.

I’m headlining the Liberty Funnybone on Sunday! Tickets 🎫 Liberty.funnybone.com

Career advice I just gave someone: Hey if you change cum rag to cum towel you might get a better laugh it’s just more clear