Liney

@samuelrae_ So just the middle sentence left to write?

First line of my novel: Gary was excited for a summer of sexual adventures. Last line of my novel: "Fuck you, Tesco", Gary sobbed as he jerked off for the 11th time that day and then he fuckin' died right there in the Tesco car park and no-one gave a shit.

Experienced a thing. Wrote some stuff. Blah blah blah, words words words

I had one of those great dreams that your brain thinks was real. Upon realising it wasn't, I have been left extremely sad and feeling an unusual sense of grief.

With the holidays vastly approaching, the Fairytale Forest elves have been working overtime! Even with 2 helpers Park Ranger Jenny can't carry all the presents. #winterwonderland #snowscene #christmaselves #christmaspresents #toys #northpole #Turkey #Christmas

Thought of the day: why is there not an Eartha Kitt version of Windmills Of Your Mind? It would've sounded great in her purring drawl.

@sensiblestu I don't the shortlist really matters, I can't see us ever shaking off our Tory MPs.

I understand that we cannot use all-women shortlists anymore, but all-male shortlists really aren't a great look.

This morning I've been making a spreadsheet about the share size bag of Skittles I've been eating.

I think the gym next to Boots has a dress code...

A saw a tweet from someone I know saying its wrong how gays aren't interested in people over a certain age. Yet they refuse to interact with anyone over 35, and have been "28" for the last 12 years.

@thatgregperson The parade is too busy for me. But I think I've got some form of imposter syndrome, I don't feel I've had to struggle or fight for it 🤷‍♂️

@LordLiney The protest/parade part I can get behind - the pointless festival notsomuch

Really don’t feel I’m queer enough for most of the gay “events” (hoopla; big gay icon concerts; even prides) And you know what; that’s ok too

I had planned to go enjoy the sun. But then I hit an unexpected low, and have been laying staring at the ceiling for an hour.

Why are picnic benches so uncomfortable? After a couple of hours I ache all over.

Ive been waiting for a "2 day" evri delivery for 6 days. Its been atthe "local depot " for 4 days. Everyday I'm tagging them on an Instagram post until it arrives.

My '2 day delivery' item has now been sat, unmoving, in a depot for 3 days. Way to go #Evri

Hmm, a 2 day delivery service that's been in transit for 5 days. Of which the last 2 its just been sat in a depot. Sounds like @EvriUK_Help can't count....

WFH is a bit more bearable after the ridiculous amount of WD40 it took to unjam my window and get some airflow going to cool down

@thatgregperson Ohh, lovely!

Not usually one for holiday “souvenirs” but I did really like this one we picked up in Greece

@samuelrae_ Mine likes to 'correct' "roger that" to "Roger Federer". Implying I've talked about him at least once before.

My phone always corrects "happened" to "halterneck". My phone thinks i should be talking about strap types a lot more than I am.