Rob

I often think about how the two wolves in me can be encapsulated by track 10 vs blame it on your love by Charli XCX

@michaelofhitch Classic geoffrey level reading comprehension my mistake.

@PickledWolverin I’m talking about the debbie downers and control freaks and spoilsports

Would society cease to exist without the fun police?

Need to rewatch peak tbh

It may be goyslop but I'm looking forward to the new movie.

Time for my dodeca-annual rewatch of Brother Bear

Only appropriate answer to last night #MyKing

My true love better calm down, I ain't Mormon or poly but I dont stand a chance against 8 maids a milking 👀 is all im saying. #IsItCheatingIfSheGaveThemToMe

Can never get over this game. Man I love it.

I am not gaslighting you, I'm straight up lying to you. Gaslighting implies putting in some amount of effort that I am simply NOT gonna put in for you.

Honestly a girl could get me to eat nerds gummy clusters out of her hand within 20 minutes. Alas, the weird art hoe is nowhere to be seen. 😔

If you can flip your thinking from pessimistic to slightly amused, you enter a flow like state of ragebaiting and trolling. Its a free passive that you can give yourself.

In a tron typa mood rn ngl.

Wearing crocs is like getting your willy grapefruited by a dude until you look down and realize its gay.

We ARE NOT the same, I'm a natural retard from the pits themselves I was weaved in the womb this way unlike you my mother didn't need supplements.

Next time your dad says, "Go help your mom." Just tell him "Damn you really gonna let another man help YOUR girl?" Should work maybe? #StayToxicKings

Only hit it doggystyle if you've been arguing and need to show your partner a 48 slide PowerPoint presentation on why they're wrong and you're right.

She'll crave your affection and won't even know it. #staytoxickings

Instead of chewing gum before kissin a gal, pack a zyn upper decky that way after a few weeks or months of doing this she will have withdrawals but won't know why.

New money making move: post an ad to rent out your house for like $700/month, but make sure there's an application fee of like $50. Collect free money, never rent out your house. Get dozens of applicants and run their credit report just to keep em down as well