‍‍ ‍✵ɴᴇ ᴡɪɴɢᴇᴅ ᴀɴɢᴇʟ

People can’t break what they never get to hold. Still, I pray that somewhere in this darkness, there’s a path meant for me not just any path, but the one my soul recognizes when the world finally quiets. A path where I can stop surviving, and finally start living."

So I wear confidence like a mask, and I hide the shattered pieces behind it. It’s easy to hide from the world when you’ve spent your whole life hiding from yourself. I walk alone.. not because I enjoy loneliness, but because solitude feels safer than vulnerability. —

"I learned to bury my sadness like a body no one should ever find. Not because I don’t feel it, but because somewhere along the line, I was taught that my pain is inconvenient. So I stitched a smile on my face, desperate that it'd blend into the fabric of who I pretend to be —

But myself? I hold to a harsher standard. The irony is cruel because love for oneself should be the very first lesson written into the fabric of our existence. Its the foundation upon which everything else is built. And yet…its the lesson I’ve failed to learn time & time again"

fumbling through the dark, searching for comfort in all the wrong places. But where does the blame fall? Why is it that I can find sympathy for those who left me, who fractured pieces of who I am, yet offer none to myself? I understand them. I forgive them. —

"When the urge creeps out like a starving tiger, it doesn’t wait. It lunges, claws sinking deep, fangs tearing into me until I’m pinned beneath its weight. In that moment, everything else disappears. There’s no logic, no restraint. Just the hunt, and me as its prey. —

|| The Solos I'll be writing here will represent pages of Stefan's journals, him digging deep into who he is, his feelings, & insights into his inner world.

Maybe it’s easier this way to burn alone, to bleed where no one can see. And yet… somewhere between the fire and the silence, I wonder if this is who I’ve become, or if this is who I’ve always been."

And the innocence I once held… shattered, scattered like broken glass across a path I keep walking barefoot. They say hurt people hurt others. But I’ve turned the blade inward. Every wound, every scar, is a confession I never speak out loud. —

"Anger. Wrath. Fury. Rage. Words that try to describe the sound of twigs burning in flames inside of me, but none of them truly capture the fire that grows in my chest a slow, relentless burn that crawls up my throat like smoke, threatening to consume everything it touches. —

⦿ s̶t̶o̶l̶e̶n̶ adopted daughter of Roman Agapov (russian spy) ⦿ sheltered free spirit ⦿ curious ⦿ troublemaker ⦿ melancholy I wasn’t always like this. . .

𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳．𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘙𝘗 𝘈𝘜 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 ➳: ̗̀➛ 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘓𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘴 •𝘉𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘙𝘗𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 2014• 𝘓𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 ☙ 𝘔𝘋𝘕𝘐 • 𝘔𝘊 • 𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘬 ღ ＆ ↺