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Tim Hanlon
7K posts
Tim Hanlon
@TimfromDa70s
Tim Hanlon. Comedian. DOPE CITY Comedy Tour. coming to Seattle, Phoenix, Tacoma Spokane Boise, Brea, Irvine....
Los Angeles, CA Joined Temmuz 2011
19.2K Following30.1K Followers
Epstein's spam box filter must have the hardest job on the Internet.
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Bill Clinton 1998: "I did not have sex with that woman"
Bill Clinton 2026: "I did not have sex with that little girl"
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Always thought that politics was like the Bloods vs the Crips. Now it's like Bloods vs the Bloods and it's about to get crazy.
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If we are in public and you're on the phone loud enough that everybody hears you. I will 100% hold my hand to my head and repeat everything you say I'm big dumb voice.
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Tim Hanlon retweeted
Eggs are like the most common breakfast, but the first dude that ate 'em was probably a fuckin psychopath.
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I've never been an ICE agent, but I bet I could do the job without shooting random ladies in the face.
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Indiana is about to get beat by an 18 year old.
#cfp #miamihurricanes
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Holy shit. The guys with the Oakley sun the glasses were right! We should all be armed to stop a tyrannical government takeover.
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Crazy stat @LeBatardShow After the championship, Miami will have played on a Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday in the same season.
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Is Uncle Rico's last name Dynamite? Because Rico Dynamite would be a fire name.
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I'm feeling pretty good about the new Gold Plated Ball Room. I think that's really gonna turn things around for America.
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Since the Charlie Kirk thing. Trump has never mentioned the "fact" that he himself was also "shot in the head" like a year ago. Kinda weird. I think it woulda come up.
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An Alligator Alcatraz but for billionaires that don't pay their taxes.
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I always thought the worst part of a Diddy party would be the music. Boy was I wrong.
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